My mind is too delicate an instrument for me to play. The chimney cleaner was supposed to come at 9. It was 46 in my living room because I couldn't let the fire burn all night or have a fire this morning because he was coming. So I took a shower, cleaned for company coming to dinner tonight (they invited themselves, I certainly don't want people coming to my house tonight) and waited and waited and waited and got hysterical. It was -18 last night, -20 the night before. Finally I called his service, got a real person who told me he did indeed have me scheduled for 9:00 this morning, relieving some of my stress. She didn't know where he was or why he hadn't come but would try to get in touch with him. He called, barely in range, to say that he'd been there at 9 but my driveway isn't plowed and he didn't think he could drive his van in it, and he didn't know if it was my camp or what so he left. I intoned, whimpered, came close to crying, said he could have at least walked to the house to tell me he was there and was leaving so I wouldn't have waited and worried and wondered. Told him my Chevy shitbox rental makes it up the driveway and that he had told me before that he could get his van up my driveway when we talked about it originally. Made him feel bad enough that he said he'd come back today (after I told him the temperature in my living room) and would do the job even if he had to carry his stuff up the hill. So he's doing it while I'm at work. He kept saying he'd build me a fire but I kept saying that wasn't necessary--geez, I don't want the guy to feel THAT badly! I just feel apart, though, when he didn't come, then when he was going to come--I can't handle this stuff, it's all too much for me.

I cleaned out the freezer, which doesn't work, and took a look at the refrigerator's contents--it sort of works. It's full and will have to be addressed soon but I didn't have the fortitude or enough garbage bags to deal with it today. I have to buy a new refrigerator when I get back from RI--another arrangement that must be made with a delivery van that may or may not make it up my driveway. More conversations with people about how complicated it is to get to my house. Not to mention the $600 it will cost. But at least they'll take the old one away.

So by now I'm hysterical and have to go to work. But at work is a message telling me that my car is ready to be picked up (hooray!) and all I have to do is pay the $250 deductible. Oops, I forgot about that part. shit, that was my travel money for RI. Well, unfortunately I'll put it on my newly-freed credit card. So now I've made arrangements to pay for the rental car at 2:30 and have them take me to the repair shop, which is about 5 miles away. So I can manage some things fairly easelessly. Goodbye shitbox. I bent the key last night when I opened the trunk--it was frozen shut and I forced it a bit.

It was -15 when I got to Ken's at 7 last night to delivery his birdseed. He was beside himself with worry about me, had been expecting me much earlier. Well, I had many errands to run. So I had a quick drink, steeled myself for a cold house and frenetic dogs, and went home. The house never really got warm, only up to 57 in the living room. This sucks. I finally turned the heat way up in the bedroom, turned the bed on and shut the door. It was very cozy by morning but nowhere else in the house was and I had to get up. No pipes froze, nor did the pump. This is a good thing but will cost a fortune in electricity.

My union rep brought me an article about a bipolar woman who was fired because she had outbursts with fellow employees and "difficult work relationships." She sued, saying the company violated the Americans with Disabilities Act, and won. Reason: her inability to get along with co-workers qualifies for ADA protection. So it's a fine line. You want to be given the benefit of your disability, but then you want to be treated like everyone else--only you can't be, because you're different and not so capable of acting like everyone else. sucks, don't it? You have to impose the same standards of behavior on all employees, which in CEF's case doesn't happen.

So now I'm killing some time until I drop off the rental car and will add holdings for Ticonderoga. It's pretty slow here, not many people around and little activity coming from member libraries. If the sun would shine, that would be nice. It was 2 degrees when I left home, but at least those degrees were on the right side of zero.