Obviosity

I'm sure most people were born knowing this, but it's taken me a lifetime to figure it out. And it's cost me a lot of grief, suffering, anxiety, misery, etc. So now I'm old and, like Sally Field, people like me. My psychiatrist told me that last week. I said
I wasn't sure I wanted to be liked for the reasons they liked me. Tough. I was working with a member director yesterday, weeding her collection and having a good time. She said that everyone likes it when I visit. puff, puff up my chest. I've been visiting several libraries lately and they all say things like that. I've changed a lot in the last few years. Changed the hard way, worked hard at it.
I'm worrying a lot about what someone thinks about me. Not just anyone, but a someone. At least it gives me something to think about.

Another water crisis. This time it barely bothers me. There's water everywhere--2 rain barrels full, a lake full, Holt's shower and washing machine, water in at camp, unlimited access to Ken's and Linda soon to arrive. I would like water this weekend, though, as I have a long list of things I'm hoping to clean. Many of which require water. But I'm a resourceful Little House on the Prairie girl. As opposed to a Donner Party girl. Anyway, here's my lesson for today

You get more of what you have.

When you feel friendly, people want to be your friend. When you feel sexy, people are attracted to you. When you feel confident, others have confidence in you.

This truth is cruel because so often, you want others to give you what you feel you’re lacking. It’s when you’re feeling isolated and awkward that you want people to be friendly. When you’re feeling ugly, you want someone to tell you how sexy you are. When you’re feeling insecure, you wish someone would express confidence in you.

Act the way I want to feel.

First, although we think we act because of the way we feel, often we feel because of the way we act. So by acting the way we wish we felt, we can change our emotions – a strategy that is uncannily effective.

Second, the world’s reaction to us is quite influenced by the way we act toward the world. For example, in situation evocation, we spark a response from people that reinforces a tendency we already have — for example, if I act irritable all the time, the people around me are going to treat me with less patience and helpfulness, which will, in turn, stoke my irritability. If I can manage to joke around, I’ll evoke a situation in which the people around me were more likely to joke around, too.

Goethe wrote: “I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather.”