No dumb question, just dumb people

These remind me of Molly's students' gaffes. Right now the public library listserv is playing silly reference questions. My contributions were 2 questions I got when I was in at the Providence Public Library--people wanted 1) a photograph of Jesus, and 2) photographs, not drawings but real photographs of dinosaurs. Since I've been here I've been asked (by the inmates, of course) for 1) information on UFO sex missions (don't know if he wanted to go on one or thought he had been on one already) and 2) true stories of werewolves.

Here are some from today, following a thread that included a request for books by Hemingstein, books on the Ottawa causes (Iowa caucuses) and large print audio books:

* The guy who put his library card into the floppy drive and told me that he couldn't get on to the internet.
* I am looking for a book called, 'dummies for beginners'.
* I had one once of someone looking for info on the hemlock maneuver - you kind of get a different outcome from what he wanted which was the Heimlich maneuver
* Your Hemingstein reminded me of the kid who asked me for a copy of Ivanhood. (I wonder if that is the sequel to Robinhoe??)
* I always tell everyone about the lady who asked me if I had music for "Cats". She really should have laughed when I asked her what instrument her cat played...

Well, sometimes you feel bad for making fun of the patrons, but then you realize that you have to laugh because otherwise you'd end up getting really frustrated by your job, and we don't want to look at our jobs with great frustration, we want to enjoy them.

and more:

*I also had someone ask me if Martin Luther King, Jr freed the slaves.

*A guy I know had these two from the same woman - he was working @ Barnes and Noble:
-"Is there a sequel to The Diary of Anne Frank?"
-"Who is that Jew who invented the atom?" (She meant, of course, ALBERT EINSTEIN)

*My favorite remains the high school student who asked me if we had a copy of "How to Kill a Mockingbird."

I think this discussion is going to go on for a long time: these people seem a little obsessed with the way people ask where the bathrooms are.