I met with my surgeon yesterday. He's going to remove my gallbladder on May 4th--2 weeks from now. He's really, really funny. He and I hit it off right away. After he drew me pictures of internal organs ("Have you ever seen a human liver?" Now when would I have seen that? "I don't know, maybe on tv or something." Well sure, on tv) and explained about bile ducts and what the liver and the gallbladder do, and explained what the surgery is like and how he does it and that there's no option that would include just removing the stones, we ended up talking about things like what we studied in college.

He was an economics major and just loved it. We both agreed that philosophy was something that we just did NOT get. I said, "I mean really, if a trees falls in the forest, it sends out sound waves, right? So it makes noise whether there's anyone there to hear it or not." He said THANK YOU! That's SCIENCE! He said he'd like to go back to college and take all the courses he didn't get to take the first time around. Then we talked about golf a while, and I said that I know such an incredibly diverse group of people who play golf, from laid back college professors and librarians to intensely competitive assholes, that I figure it must be a really nice game. He said he plays once a year with his father and that it is a really nice game.

Then we talked about where we each live and how great it is to have neighbors. He said I'm entitled to have a second opinion (I said I don't need one) and that if I don't want a brown-eyed bald surgeon I'm welcome to try to find a blue-eyed one. He said he's done about a thousand gallbladder removals. I said, and so far you haven't told me about anyone you killed. He said surgical mortality is considered to be anyone who dies within two weeks of surgery, and he had two patients die within two weeks of their surgery. This led to the lengthy descriptions of the cases. One was a many dying of heart disease who ultimately died of a heart attack. The second was a woman who was 5' tall and weighed 450 pounds, hadn't been out of bed for the 6 months preceding the surgery who ended up dying of pneumonia. I said that surgery must have been truly, truly disgusting. He said it was revolting. What he does is make tiny incisions and stick these long skinny instruments and a camera inside, rather than making a big incision. With her, he said his instruments weren't long enough to reach the gallbladder so he had to make an incision, then he was up to his elbows just to reach the gallbladder. How gross. I said if I ever get that fat I hope someone will shoot me. He said I'll be among the thinnest of the patients he'll operate on. God this is a country full of fat people.

So now I have to have blood work done and an EKG (all of which I had done in the ER, but we are a country that loves to have tests done). I've called Lin, who is a wonderful caregiver and great friend, and she will take the day off to drive me to the hospital, wait for me while I'm having the surgery and drive me home. I'm supposed to have someone spend the night with me or else spend the night in the hospital, but I won't make her stay and I'll be just fine. The doctor doesn't want me to drive for a week, but he said that is mostly for my insurance company's reasons. Physically he says I'll be fine but if I have an accident he won't be able to say I'm in perfect physical health for a week. So I've asked for a week off but don't know what I'll do.

And here at work we're gearing up for our union elections. The newest librarian, who is not really a "team player" but who has decided she wants to control lots of things now, has decided to run for unit president. I've been president for a long, long time. She says someone asked her to run and they've decided it's time for a change. She said she wanted her own slate of officers so has asked two other people to run with her, but they didn't tell Julie (who's been vice-president along with me) or me, they just had people sign their petitions without telling us they were running. I found out yesterday when I started getting signatures on my petition. I told her I didn't mind if she ran but I thought it was divisive to do it the way she had and I wished she had come to me and said she was planning to run. I also said I wouldn't run against her because I don't want to split the group that way. It's too small a group to have 2 candidates, and I don't want to have that sort of dissention. So now the bunch on ingrates can have her. She won't stand up to management, she'll cave in. She won't insist on enforcing the contract, or full health insurance with no co-pay when we negotiate the next contract, nor will she insist that they offer two health insurance plans. She won't fight for the things I've been fighting for for the past 5 years. But the hell with them (and me, I guess), if that's what they want, let them have Bush for President and her for their union. I don't feel betrayed, I just feel the same way I feel about this country: people don't understand what they're doing, what they're asking for. We'll give up a LOT and it won't work out well, but there's really not much I can do. I won't miss fighting with management, and I won't miss hearing people complain to me (though maybe they'll complain about different things now) and I won't miss being in charge. It will be nice to NOT be the president, I have to admit. No responsibility. It's truly a thankless job and in some ways it's a lot of work and it's always a lot of worry. So in the end is a positive thing for my life. It's just the way it's being done that sucks.