One of the few people at work today and hoping my remaining clerk will go home early so I will have the dept. to myself. I'm the 9-5 person so I will be alone from 4-5. I like days like today, the possibilities seem endless. It's a beautiful day outside, however, the day we should have had on Saturday. Instead we had a monumental rainstorm, a slight bit of hail that hit the lake with big kerplunks. Ken said it was sleet but I think he exaggerates. We didn't see actual hail on the ground but I saw big plops! in the water. It was a slick storm that Jenica and I watched from the b.house porch. I had gotten up at 5:30 and spent most of the morning on the porch there reading but was dozing when she arrived. I didn't sleep down there Friday night, it was too cold: 48 at my house Sat. morning.

We had a really nice visit, Jenica and I. We can talk about library stuff endlessly and never get bored. It was great to hear about her articles. I admire her scholarly endeavors and energy. We went to Sunday dinner and Bill's enthusiasm for and adoration of her were so obvious. He told me after her last visit that he thinks she's a special and wonderful person so it was fun to watch him in action with her. He really enjoys being with her and was so happy to have her there. Fred was also there, his 2nd day of retirement. I'm excited that he's retired and will be in residence in Hawkeye until late fall.

I had an early morning appointment with my psychiatrist this morning. Although I'm doing very well, we discovered a big problem I have and will be doing some work on it. Rats! I guess I feel strong enough now to deal with it. Last night I had 2 dreams: the first was an anxiety dream, that an inmate had tracked me down through my email address and called me. I felt really vulnerable and threatened. He found me while I was sleeping and woke me up. Although traditionally in that situation in my dreams I am unable to make noise, this time I yelled "NOOOOO!" and woke myself up. The dogs did not care. I finally got back to sleep, after debating whether or not I should lock my door, the woods no doubt teeming with inmates who were out to get me (I didn't lock it--I refuse to give in to that fear; once I do I will be unable to live there alone). The dream immediately following that one was that Jamie and I were back together, living in a strange little apartment in an unfamiliar place, then were at his parents' house and his parents were completely nice to me. An odd dream, but unfortunately I've dreamed about a reconciliation about 4 times before in recent weeks.

So I mentioned these dreams to Dr. Rubin and asked if he thought dreams were significant. Well yes he does, in some ways. I said my sister had told me that one's house can represent one's self in a dream and he said it's traditionally accepted that your house represents your body in your dream. I said I wouldn't be able to trust Jamie if he were ever to re-enter my life (aside from the fact that I now find him to be quite boring) so he conjectured that the two dreams were related in that they both dealt with trust issues. hmmm. I see him again in a month. Can't wait to see what dreams I'll have to discuss with him then! Oh boy! Cheap entertainment!

I have an invitation for dinner tonight that I don't want to accept. I have to call them today and give them a made-up excuse. My friend Peter stopped by yesterday to invite me to his camp on Union Falls for a day-long fete tomorrow, music and people. I've been to something like that at his place before. I doubt that I'll go but you never know. It's hard to go to those things alone, although I'm sure I'll know people there. I know he'd really like it if I went. I'd really rather spend time with Linda.

What I'd like to do tomorrow is dig in my garden. I checked out the one I haven't dug in yet and it's a real mess. It cries out for attention so I hope to spend time with it, but we may have rain. I also need to bring my lawn mower home from camp. That involves mowing all the way home, cutting the other side of the strip down the middle of the road. Have to cut my grass again. And I should put away the upside-down and injured gazebo in my yard and attempt to put up the dome-shaped one I bought. Coulda shoulda woulda.