And now I'm back at work, day 2 of that. The nurse practictitioner/PA/whatever I saw said I should call today if I weren't feeling better. How much better should I be feeling? is the question of the day. I'm still coughing and my ears are still congested. So I did what my mother told me (at least 5 times) to do when I spoke to her last night: I called the doctor's office. They will call me back to tell me what to do. The receptionist seemed to think that 4 days of antibiotics should have had more of an effect. Perhaps, who knows. Anyway, I can't get to work before 10:15 because I can't get to sleep before 1:30 and therefore can't get up anywhere near 6:30. Last night Jackson was outside for 4.5 hours, from 11:30 to 4. In my illness/sleepy/dream-tainted haze between 3:30 and 4 I had him gone from my life for good (what 13 year old dog can be gone during the night for that many hours and still return? Oh how lucky am I to have an indestructible dog, a wanderer who takes long, meandering walks in the early spring nights). Well, it was a good thought while it lasted.

So today I feel...crummy but not horrible. My brother's "situation" of last year of course is a weight I'm carrying right now, as are we all. I seem to have had my intense reaction for the past few weeks and am now coming out from under it. As Ken says, it will always be with me and I will never get over it. I suppose the hardest part is ahead of me: visiting with my mother this weekend for Easter. It's always hard for me to be at her house, where Henry and I shared a lot of really nice visits. I miss him a lot when I'm there. But I feel strong, happy with my life, able to cope, optimistic about spring (oh the power of the weather) and ready to enjoy things. I just feel sick, that's all.

And, miracle of miracles, there's real progress in the healing of Ken's foot! Two of the wounds have healed completely, as of last night. He and I were thrilled. Two down, one to go. We had our dinner together last night and a nice visit. I took Tess instead of Chances, and boy was Chances pissed! Tess behaved much better than she normally does, slept the whole time, which really impressed Ken. And me. Anyway, we're both feeling great relief about this and are hopeful for more progress.

And now I'll catalog more crap for the Port Henry library.