Well that's pretty interesting, since I always figured I'd die of disease or accident. Disappearing, huh? I don't think much of that, unless I fall off a cliff and die quickly. Guess I'd better be careful if I go up the bluffs by myself (which I NEVER do--I'm very afraid of disappearing, so maybe this is an sign that I should be extra careful). I do go for walks with my dogs, otherwise alone. What am I supposed to do? I live alone. I think I'm safer doing that where I live than just about anywhere else, though.

So my big news is that I got an invitation to my ex-husband's upcoming wedding. It came in the mail. I thought it was a get-well card, until I saw the return address. Then I shrieked "He invited me to his wedding!" and threw it down. My first thought was that I couldn't possibly stand to go, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that I should probably go, for the sake of family unity. I don't mind going, I don't care that he's getting married or not getting married. The reception is a cocktail party in a really nice restaurant. It's a church wedding (what he wanted our wedding to be), which I really don't like going to. I figure that, if he invited me he must be inviting all the cousins so it would look as if I harbor ill will if I don't go. Of course, I could schedule a trip for that weekend ("I'm sorry--I'll be out of town that weekend; just as soon as I figure out a place to go to"). No, I don't care enough to escape. So anyway, that's my piece of news.

Yesterday I took the day off to take Ken to the doctor in Saranac Lake. His appointment was at 11:30. We left at 10:30 and got home around 12:30. We took the "Upper" Franklin Falls Road home (last time we took the Lower road. The lower road follows the lakes, the upper road follows the mountains. What a sterling day it was. Clear blue sky, tons and tons of shad trees in bloom. It was wonderful. I drove slowly so we could both savor the experience. The mountains were blue and beautiful. He told me the names of the hills and the locations of farms that existed when he was young. Told me he used to walk 4 miles to catechism class on Saturdays when he was a kid. Give me a break. Catholics really are nuts. He said that, in 1885 when his family first arrived in Hawkeye his father was a child. He walked to Alder Brook to catechism, decided he didn't want to be there and ran out of the church. The Irish priest chased him, caught him and told him in heavy Irish brogue that he had to be there. How to make a child resent religion.

I spent the afternoon puttering around. Messing a little with my plants, fussing with paperwork. Puttering, messing and fussing. Took the dogs for a long walk to check on the camps I usually check on. Went down to the water's edge. The far shore is barely showing green. This is a slow, late spring. Colder than normal. Means that we don't have many black flies yet, but neither do we have leaves on trees. OK with me but I wish I could be doing yard work. Haven't really totally healed from my surgery just yet. Almost but not quite. Anyway, my walk was great. The trillium is in bloom, the woods were still and lovely and the dogs had a great time. Tess and Chances swam. You could see the shad in bloom across the lake. There was no one else in the world.

At 6:30 I went to Ken's (I still have to put drops in his eye every night, until the bottles are empty: thank goodness the bottles are small). Bill was there, and so was his cousin Steve, who has become the neighborhood handyman. I asked Steve to give me an estimate on replacing the decking at the front of my house. Ken and I had planned to do it ourselves, but I would so much rather pay someone else to do it, if I can afford it. Steve had his own business doing engine repair, but his garage burned down, then he used the insurance money to build a bigger (much bigger) garage, then the Adirondack Park Agency made him tear it down because he didn't get a permit to build one that was bigger than his original garage, so he lost a whole lot of money and had no business. So he's been without a job for 2 years, supported by his wife. Yesterday he had an interview with Sears to be a service technician for their outdoor equipment, and he got the job. We all had a celebratory drink together. He was really excited, and he is a very, very nice man. Has three kids, one going to college in the fall (at SUNY Oswego) so this is a very important event for him. I like him a lot, even if he did charge me $650 to fix my rotten old Jeep many years ago when all I wanted was to get it running so I could use it to plow with.

And today is a beautiful, sunny day. Tomorrow and Sunday are supposed to be cloudy but I won't mind. If it doesn't rain I will take my mower to Ken's to have him show me how to change the oil so I can mow my lawn. He bought a case of the right kind of oil and is insisting that I change the oil even though I had it changed last year and only mowed about 3 times. Apparently if an engine sits for several months you MUST change the oil before running it again. I knew that already, I just don't want it to be true about my lawn mower.

I only have to work 4 days next week, then I'm off for 5 days. I have a very long list of things I hope to accomplish during my time off. Maybe I can make myself do some of them this weekend. Memorial Day is the time I usually divide my house into zones and clean a zone a day. I'm trying a slightly different approach this year, since there aren't really zones in need of attention. The library, pantry and mud room are in desperate need, however, so those will be zones. yuck. I can do the pantry and mud room in a day, but it must be a day that the dump is open. I wish I had a truck.