June 22nd: 20th wedding anniversary
I only know this because the date leaps out at me from the calendar. Someone asked me if it means anything to me, if it's an emotional day for me. No, not in the least. I just can't believe that 20 years have gone by since I got married, and yet I can. A lot has happened in 20 years. I can't believe that it's been 10 years since he moved out, that's harder to believe. Of course, he was still very much involved in my life for 2 or so years after he left, and we've only been divorced for 2 years. My life is so much my own life now, and has been for so long, that my marriage happened to someone else, a person who was very different from the person I am now. I am a more complete person now, someone who understands much about herself and can handle the things that happen to her. I know who cares about me and how they care about me, and I know how much I need to have someone care about me. I know how to ask for help when I need it--though I am loathe to do so. I love to be alone, I love living alone but I also understand that I have a need to be with other people sometimes (thank goodness--I would worry about myself if I didn't have this need). I have friends, enough of them so that when something happens to me they call and show up to help me. This is who I have become.

And today is a beautiful day, a perfect 70-degree day. This is the weather I crave. I took Monday off (because it was going to be a beautiful day, but mostly because the director was going to be at work that day). It was 80, a little hot for me. I was relatively productive. Mowed and weed-whacked. I used Lin's self-propelled mower and was able to mow my lawn and all around my driveway in a fraction of the time it would have taken with my mower. I love her mower. I did not get my garden dug out from under the canopy of grass it is now hidden under. This is the most disagreeable chore now facing me. I did read in the sun for a long time, which is one of my favorite activities. I'm reading Running with scissors, a memoir that our book group has chosen. It's hard to believe this is someone's life, and yet it's also so strange that it's not hard to believe. Monday evening Stevie came to work on my deck. He took down the deck and stairs that lead to the mud room. It looks totally naked over there now. He's going to tie the stairs and mud room door in to the front deck.

Had a good weekend, though the weather was cool. It was 42 Sunday morning, too cool for June I think. Jenica and Drew slept in the boat house, I stayed home under many covers and with a brown girl at my feet and another at my side. Saturday I prepared most of the meal for Sunday dinner, as I hosted it at Sonci. Chicken/potato salad with dill and olives. Cole slaw. What was supposed to be a delicious peach pie in a coconut crust but didn't turn out the way I envisioned it AT ALL. The fete was a success, though, and we had 7 people on the porch enjoying each other and the view. It was very nice. I got to hear about Joe's trip to Iceland, a place I've wanted to visit for the last 30 years. He says there are no trees there. OK, so I wouldn't want to live there, just visit.

The cousins had planned to come last weekend to put in the docks, but due to the weather they have rescheduled for this weekend. This weekend's weather doesn't look much better. We'll see what happens. At least the water's in so we can use the kitchen and flush the toilet. I can't believe how close we are to July. Much work will be done on camp for Jamie's rehearsal party the night before his wedding, I'm sure. That will be nice for us, we can all enjoy a new improved camp. It can use a good cleaning. I'll be at Erdvilas' birthday party that night.

This morning I went to the dump (after first stopping at camp to pick up the garbage there), then to the blood place to have my blood tested, and still got to work only 5 minutes late. I would have been on time if I'd gone to the other blood place, where I always go, but I tried the different place. Turns out all the old people go to this place and there are a lot of them and they move slowly. Won't go there again and don't want to get like that.

Have a negotiating session tonight. Two scheduled before I am no longer president of the bargaining unit. What happens after that I don't know. We have an elaborate chart that shows how much money we lose if we accept their salary offer, which is less than the cost of inflation. And how much more we lose if we contribute 5% to the cost of our health care, as they want us to. They'll be surprised that we're so well prepared. I'm not looking forward to this, have enjoyed the hiatus we've had, but don't know why we haven't been meeting for the past several weeks.

Tonight is dinner with Ken. Hamburgers and frozen fries. He's very busy these days, mowing and cutting up a big maple that came down. A happy man who's got too much to do.