I saw the coolest thing yesterday on my way to work. There was a very red doe standing next to the road, and standing next to her was a totally white fawn. All white. So pretty, so magical. It wasn't an albino because its eyes were very dark and surrounded by black eyeliner, just as its mother's were, and its nose was very dark as well. How cute and special. I thought of it as a good luck omen, but then I got very depressed and cried most of the rest of the way to work, thinking about my brother and how much I miss him. So much for something good happening that will carry you through the day!

I miss my brother a lot now because there are things he would be doing at camp, and this is a weekend he would probably be coming here to do them. There are projects he could work on, and he would have liked doing them, fixing his camp, making a contribution and making the place better. I feel very sad that he died because there were many things that he wanted to do, there was so much he wanted to live for and he was looking forward to the rest of his life. And of course I miss him very much. I wanted to tell him about the white fawn. He would have thought that was pretty cool.

It's still hot and muggy but only in the 80's not 90 right now. I'm sleeping at home. The last time I slept at the boat house was Tuesday night. I couldn't get to sleep and neither could the dogs. They paced all over the bed and I tossed and turned in the dark until after 1:00. Maybe I need to ingest lest caffeine, or maybe I'm struggling with things in my mind, or maybe I'm just not a warm weather person. Last night I slept better, in my bed with my window open, listening to the occasional sound of the forest.

Roger Douglas stopped by last night, looking for his sweet cat Marius. I got to chat with Roger, who is really one of the nicest people I know. I haven't seen him in months. He said his father Leroy is having a very bad time and there's really something wrong with him (well, we all knew that a long time ago). Roger has always worked for his father in the summer but said he quit on Tuesday, couldn't take his father's behavior anymore. His brother-in-law quit yesterday. That's even more amazing. This is really big news in the neighborhood. Also very scary, Leroy on the loose. We always count on Roger to help keep Leroy under control.

No one coming to camp this weekend, unusual for the 4th. Cousin Elsa may show up, she sometimes does. I have a lot going on. Linda and Erdvilas arrive tomorrow night, as do the women from Balto. Saturday morning the shoreowners' association does a road cleanup, followed by a cookout at noon. Sunday is special noon dinner at Joe and Martha's--that will be big and fancy. Monday I'm hoping for some dock time. Steve said he should be able to work on my deck this weekend. Roger is a contractor and asked me about my deck yesterday, I could tell he thought I should have asked him to do it. At the rate Steve's going, I think he was right. I've got some other work I'd like to get done and I think I might ask Roger to do it. I'd love to have my bathtub functioning again.

We reached a tentative settlement with the board in negotiations on Tuesday night. It's a really good agreement for our unit and I'm really happy with it. I think it went really well mostly because the director (INTERIM director, that is) was out of town so it was just 2 rational board members and a rational attorney (is that an oxymoron?). They suggested we leave out the drug/alcohol use policy that we have struggled and argued over for hours (which was what we suggested doing in the first place) and they agreed to our demand that those of us who have never contributed to our health insurance coverage continue to not pay. We got a 3% increase for each of the 3 years of the contract, which isn't much but it's up from the 2% that they said was their absolute bottom line. We proved to them that the cost of living index was 2.91%. Doubtless we'll lose money in real salaries in years 2 and 3 but at least we have a contract we can present to the unit that they'll actually ratify. And this is my last round of negotiations, since I am no longer president of the unit effective tomorrow. Yes!! The way the new officers went about running for office was mean-spirited and cruel, but the end result is all right with me and I didn't run for re-election. I am feeling good about not having to deal with being president any more. It's been 5 or 6 years, I forget how many, and it's been so nasty and contentious dealing with this director that I'm happy to be rid of it. Of course, we're getting a new director who doubtless will be more rational. Some of the members think I was the problem, which is what is upsetting to Julie and me (she was the vice president), they never heard about the things the director did, or realized that we were just holding the line, not picking the fights. But that's in the past and you can't control what people conclude when they don't have the facts.

Today it's more opera videos to catalog for Lake Placid. Does anybody every watch these? I have a feeling I'm spending hours and hours cataloging these so they can sit on the shelf and never get used. But it doesn't matter, this is my job and I do it.