Ebb and flow

As my sister noticed over the weekend, I am better now. More stable, less hysterical. Change in meds will do that, sometimes more quickly than other times. I'm back in the saddle.

I am in control of Christmas. I can't believe I have all my shopping done, except for the 2 bottles I have to get for my clerks, and I'll get those tonight on my way home. I have to return 4 t-shirts, 2 each to Old Navy and the Gap--wrong size (2) and wrong weight (2). Found the perfect ones last night. Mark needs heavy white shirts to wear under the shirts he has to wear to work and I think I've found the right size and weight. Let's hope.

I've sent a gift basket to my aunt & uncle. I mailed the presents to Italy a day before the last day you can guarantee they'll get there by the 24th. Today I'll mail the presents (not good ones, but presents nevertheless) to my cousins in Vermont. When can we stop exchanging gifts? Probably never--what to get children you don't know, year after year? And long ago I ran out of ideas for their parents. I even have most of the stocking stuffers for Liza and Mark. Yikes, what's up with me this year? I ordered and received new tags for my dogs that have my name and address on one side and Liza's name and address on the other. I don't like them, they're cheap, thin metal but they'll do for now.

I finally made it to the dump this morning ("How many stickers, hon?") after many weeks of procrastination. Up at 6, even though I didn't need to be at work until 9. Why do I wake up so early on days I work 9-5 yet can't drag myself out of bed when I have to be here at 8? Anyway, got my fridge cleaned out, stoked the fire, wrapped work presents, dumped the mouse trap (YES! Trapline continues to be successful. Mouse #7, or maybe 8, can't remember, met his --yes, this one was a boy--demise last night. This after someone licked peanut butter off traps without tripping them for 2 nights running, really getting me in a killing mood), played with Tess (and Hedgehog and Pony) for a long time (actually got her to semi-retrieve for the first time ever). Man was I exhausted when I left at 7:20.

On Friday I weeded in Rouses Point. Made it through the 600's--medicine, cookery, interpersonal relations. A few years ago she had this mousy, unattractive man donate the book How to succeed with women ("Obviously the book didn't work for him"). She decided to add it to her collection and has sent it to almost every correctional facility in the region to fill ILL requests since she got the book. We laughed about that and I recommended she keep the book, since no one else in the region owns it. Blech.

I had a strange idea when I finished weeding that I would go across the border to Canada to the duty-free store and buy a bunch of alcohol for my visit to RI. Some for presents, some for our after-dinners. It's cheaper there, you get a discount with the exchange rate, and you don't have to pay sales tax. I thought it would be simple. Canada is only about 15 minutes from Rouses Point. I had a 40 pound bag of dog food in the back seat, purchased at Petsmart a couple of days before. Thought about putting it in the trunk but figured it wouldn't be an issue. WRONG. Don't try to take dog food into Canada.
Customs agent: "What's the purpose of your visit?
Me: Christmas shopping at the Duty Free.
C.A.: "What's in that green bag?"
Me: Dog food.
C.A.: "What flavor?"
Me: I don't know what you mean.
C.A: "WHAT FLAVOR?"
Me: Iams.
C.A. "Yes, but WHAT FLAVOR?"
Me: Regular.
C.A. (more than a little exasperated, knowing the problem is not her accent): "Beef, lamb, chicken...?"
Me: OH!!! I don't really know.
C.A.: "Any meat by-products? You cannot bring meat products into Canada."
Me: Oh I'm sure there's no meat in it (as if).
C.A.: "I'm going to give you a yellow slip. Pull into the parking area and go into the first door. The man there will inspect your dog food to see if you can take it into the country."
Me (silently) ohmigod. These people are nuts.
Man from door: "I'm here to inspect your dog food."
Me: Yes I know--there it is.
Man: "Is the car running?"
Me: no, the lights are just on--here are the keys. (Silently--what difference does it make if the car is running?)
Man spends long time reading ingredients on bag.
Man: "It's ok. What's in those two white boxes?"
Boxes have date due cards and pockets I'm giving away to member libraries.
Me: Library cards--feel free to look (RATS! My only opportunity to say "You'll need a warrant to find out").
Man checks boxes.
Man: "You work in a library?"
Me: (silently, DUH) Yes.
Man gives me a slip of paper like a store receipt with a number stamped on it, tells me to punch those numbers on the number pad ahead and the gate will rise so I can enter the country.
But wait a minute people--the sole purpose of my visit to your country is to spend a lot of money. You should be welcoming me with open arms and an open cash register drawer!
So I buy my booze, and plenty of it.
Wait in line to get back to my own country, where I'm sure I'll be welcomed home with great enthusiasm, THEY'LL be happy to see me. I wait in line for about half an hour. Turns out they search the trunk of each car with Canadian plates and ask the drivers and passengers lots and lots of questions. And there are a whole lot of Canadians going Christmas shopping in Plattsburgh on a Friday night. It's finally my turn.
Customs Agent: "Where do you live?"
Me, knowing that Hawkeye is not an acceptable answer, AuSable Forks.
C.A.: "Do you have some identification?"
I'm way ahead on this, hand over my license. They've just passed a law requiring passports at the border, as of 2007 or 8, I forget which.
C.A.: "What was the purpose of your visit?"
Me: I bought $127 worth of liquor at the Duty Free.
C.A.: "How many bottles was that?"
Me: I have no idea but here's the receipt.
C.A.: "You have the receipt? May I see it please?" Takes receipt. Studies it for a very, very long time. Why? Wants to know what I drink? Is taking a survey of America drinking habits? C.A.: "Are these Christmas presents?"
Me (too embarrassed to admit how much of the liquor will be consumed and how little will actually be gifted) Yes sir.
C.A.: "Go ahead."

Moral of story: there are at least two--
--Don't take dog food or anything resembling or containing meat products into Canada. Good to know
--If you get stopped in Canada the Customs Inspectors are very nice men. Customs Agents, not so much
--The Duty-Free store still has some good liquor prices but doesn't sell little bottles appropriate for work gifts
--American Customs Agents are ball-busters and some of them try to look cool by not shaving