Life is different

I had a really nice birthday. Pretty much just what I wanted. Enough attention but not too much. Nice lunch with Barb, just the right number of presents. I was going to stop at Ken's for a little birthday cheer. His outside light was on so I got all cheerful, figuring he'd left it on for me, expecting my visit. No, he'd gone to dinner next door at his niece's and his door was locked. I got in my car and cried and cried. Why? I couldn't figure it out--it wasn't because I was desperate to see Ken, I'd been thinking all day that I wasn't even going to stop, but felt obligated to because he'd expect me to. Still I couldn't stop crying. Sad to spend my birthday night alone? No, that was what I wanted. Finally figured it out: I miss my brother. I miss him so much. I always heard his voice on my birthday, and usually he always me flowers. He offered such sweetness on the day, hearing from my siblings is so wonderful. When I got home there were two messages on my answering machine, the light was blinking. That set me off, more intense crying. There was no message from my brother. I wanted so much to hear his voice.

One of the messages was from my sister, which cheered me a whole lot. Thank goodness for sisters. We have each other (Jon Bon Jovi says that's a lot, he's right, of course--amazing that anyone that good looking could be right, huh). So I perked up and really enjoyed my evening. I had stopped at Petsmart and made tags for my dogs with my mother's address and phone number on them, in anticipation of a repeat of Chances' escape at Thanksgiving. I put those on their collars and now they jingle. Although I usually hate that, it's a pretty cheerful sound, really. Tess is wearing two tags, one with her home address and one with her "away" address. Chances' other tag fell off and Tess chewed it so she's only got one now. These are cheap metal (not cheap cheap, they cost $6.50) and won't last so I've ordered the good kind that have addresses on both sides, just to confuse the bog walkers who find Tess.

Today I will try to leave early to run some errands--the kind you can do without any money. Tonight is dinner with Ken. Hamburgers and frozen fries. Weds. is never a low-cal night but there's nothing I can do about that.