I can't believe we're flying into the end of September. The great thing about it, of course is that the 29th is the last day for the Old Director (OD). New Director (ND) starts on October 2nd. She supposedly flew in from Alaska yesterday and may be stopping in the library some time this week. I probably won't be here, I'm out and about 3 days this week: Weds. I'm off to Port Henry to barcode their horrible, old, musty and irrelevant non-fiction collection; Thursday I go to Canton to the Regional Automation Committee meeting; Friday I have to go to Akwesasne (The Reservation) to a training workshop for our member library directors. I always greet these travels with mixed feelings: great to get out, hate to leave my work because no one does it while I'm gone. Fall is traditionally a really busy travel time because everyone in the region wants to get as many workshops/meetings/training sessions in before the snow flies. Anyway, I can't believe next week is the end of September.

The weather here isn't helping convince me that it's autumn. It's been so warm that the leaves are refusing to turn. Still lots and lots of green, very little red in the soft maples (the first to turn)--barely a hint. Jenica pointed out the faintest hint of red in my favorite maple, which is next to my driveway. It hasn't progressed much in the past week. We had heavy rain over the weekend, which usually results in loss of leaves this time of year, but nothing came down but the rain.

I had Friday off--National Day of Prayer. What a great contract we have! Every time a former President dies we get a day off, or, in this case, hurricane victims. When the President declares a N.D. of P. we get the day off. I had intended to clean my bedroom, prepping for winter, but instead tidied up in a general way, stacked firewood, watched tv, did not a whole lot in particular. Did enough to feel I was productive, though. I read like a fiend all weekend, finally finishing Wicked, the September book choice for our Book Group. It's the biography of the Wicked Witch of the West. The discussion was yesterday and man it was a really good one. I didn't much like the book going into the discussion, but we had such a good discussion that by the end of it I saw the value of the book and had a whole different perspective and appreciation of it. It was really interesting to me that two people in the group really, really liked the book. I truly enjoyed our conversation about the book, about good and evil, about characters in the book, etc. And of course, the next two hours we spent talking and enjoying each others' company. This is an exceptionally nice group of women and we are seeing each other through pregnancy, divorce, motherhood of young children and life in general. I really like these people.

Saturday I had high hopes of spending the day on my deck in the sun, reading, but it rained so hard Fri. night that there was residual cloudiness all day. I took massive amounts of newspapers and magazines to the dump in the morning (in the morning--unheard of for me to visit the dump before 3:00 p.m. on the weekend! I discovered that Young Brown Girl has been peeing on the pile of newspapers for a while, presumably since she's been taking Prednisone for her ragweed allergy. Now the back of the house smells like female dog urine (as opposed to the male dog urine smell it used to have when Jackson would pee there). DOGS! Anyway, I did sit on my deck and read, after I stacked the requisite daily 6 wheelbarrow loads of firewood. Ken came by to inspect my newly completed deck and we had a drink together while sitting on the deck, enjoying each other's company and admiring Steve's good work. While I was doing that my cousin's took out the docks at camp, including the boat house dock, sigh.

Saturday night I went across the lake to my cousins' camp for dinner. My favorites, "the boys," who are now approaching 30, were both there. One of them had his wife and son (the cutest, happiest, most joyful child on The Planet) with him. I really like that family unit, they are probably the best in my extended family, the most stable, calmest and most cohesive. Nicholas, the son, is now 3 and is truly a happy and well-adjusted child, ready to face the world. My first cousin, who is NOT one of my favorite relatives, was also there, but I was polite to him even though he has committed unspeakably rude acts against my mother.

Sunday was busy: Sunday dinner until 2:30, then Book Group in Wilmington from 3:30 until about 6:30. So much socialization in 2 days! Good for me I suppose.

And on the way to work this morning I spilled 16 oz. of triple caffeinated coffee on my lap and all over my car after taking just one sip. Responses from two males on the staff were completely negative: "It ruined your whole day, didn't it," and "Might as well trade the car in now." Men are funny. Responses from women on the staff were totally different, sympathetic and encouraging. Gender differences are funny. Jenica's blog entry about the fraternity t-shirt really struck a chord with me. When I was in college (during the early 70's) feminism was relatively young and I was relatively angry. No one would have dared put something like that on a t-shirt. It makes me very sad to think that members of either gender would think it appropriate to express that sentiment. Like racism, sexism hasn't gone away or even, apparently diminished in this country. Yes, they're young and learning, but this is something they really should have learned about before now: it's not ok to think these things about women OR sex.

And today I need to catalog goodness knows what. Audio books I think, new stuff, so it will at least seem relevant to the reading interests of the public.

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

This is no surprise, no surprise at all. Except for the spiritual part.

I like Maureen Dowd. Here's what she had to say today:

President Bush continued to try to spin his own inaction yesterday, but he may finally have reached a patch of reality beyond spin. Now he's the one drowning, unable to rescue himself by patting small black children on the head during photo-ops and making scripted attempts to appear engaged. He can keep going back down there, as he will again on Thursday when he gives a televised speech to the nation, but he can never compensate for his tragic inattention during days when so many lives could have been saved.

He made the ultimate sacrifice and admitted his administration had messed up, something he'd refused to do through all of the other screw-ups, from phantom W.M.D. and the torture at Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo to the miscalculations on the Iraq occupation and the insurgency, which will soon claim 2,000 young Americans.

How many places will be in shambles by the time the Bush crew leaves office?

Given that the Bush team has dealt with both gulf crises, Iraq and Katrina, with the same deadly mixture of arrogance and incompetence, and a refusal to face reality, it's frightening to think how it will handle the most demanding act of government domestic investment since the New Deal.

Even though we know W. likes to be in his bubble with his feather pillow, the stories this week are breathtaking about the lengths the White House staff had to go to in order to capture Incurious George's attention.

Newsweek reported that the reality of Katrina did not sink in for the president until days after the levees broke, turning New Orleans into a watery grave. It took a virtual intervention of his top aides to make W. watch the news about the worst natural disaster in a century. Dan Bartlett made a DVD of newscasts on the hurricane to show the president on Friday morning as he flew down to the Gulf Coast.

The aides were scared to tell the isolated president that he should cut short his vacation by a couple of days, Newsweek said, because he can be "cold and snappish in private." Mike Allen wrote in Time about one "youngish aide" who was so terrified about telling Mr. Bush he was wrong about something during the first term, he "had dry heaves" afterward.

I've got my life back
I love my friends and I love summer, but I breathe a sigh of relief when the last person leaves in September. Last night I got to go straight home, take care of details in my house and have an evening of domestic bliss with my dogs. They liked it, I liked it, and it was what normal (for me) life is like. Wednesday night I'll cook dinner with Ken, but last night and tonight are for me.

It's hot here, too hot for September according to most people. I'd like to have cooler weather, temps in the 60's so I could stack firewood without getting hot & sweaty. I do not like to sweat, it's one of my concessions to girly-girlness. I know I talk endlessly about stacking firewood but it's an obsession here in the North Country for those of us who burn wood, especially this time of year. I like handling my wood, I like seeing the progress when the size of the wood pile diminishes and the stack of wood grows. I like counting the number of wheelbarrow loads it takes to move wood from one place to another. It's all very satisfying, like putting money in the bank, only it's money that can only be spent in one place.

I'm trading an old wood stove that I have for some grapes. I hope the stove is still good, it's been lying on its side next to my driveway for many years now. It's rusty but since it's iron it should be all right. My friend Julie has an oil furnace and wants to put a wood stove in her kitchen. I mentioned that I had one I'd love to have removed from my property. Bingo, a deal was struck. She has some delicious grapes on her arbor that the mother of the previous owner brought from France (the Coneheads, in unison "We're from France"). So it looks as if I'll be making grape jelly this week. Haven't made jelly in a few years, will feel good to get back to that I think. It's fun to make, watch the natural jelling of fruit. I'll use a few apples from my trees for the pectin to help it gel. Some people use commercial pectin, but the flavor is much richer if you don't. Takes a lot longer, but tastes better. And that's my cooking tip for today.

Speaking of cooking, I wrote my first review for Library Journal recently and got an email from the editor saying she was doing the final editing. The book is The storm gourmet and is really a hoot. It's supposed to be recipes you can use when you've been caught in a storm and you're without power, living off of the contents of your pantry. One task assigned in the book is to pick up the grapefruits and avocados that fell from the trees during the storm. Another funny thing about the book is that a key ingredient in some of the recipes is rose water. Which we all keep in our pantries, right? But I gave the book a half-decent review, because some of the recipes were ok, and it's probably my nature to say something nice ("If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," thank you Mother). I did mention that many of the recipes would be of limited use to those of us in the REST of the world.

I have tons of green tomatoes on my plants. I only grew cherry tomatoes this year, I've given up on regular tomatoes. The dogs have discovered the plants and bury their heads in the plants, chomp chomp chomp. I've always had dogs who love tomatoes fresh off the vine. I yell to them "Stop it! Those are MINE!" and they'll stop, but as soon as I turn my head Tess is back in the bush. On Sunday Jenica said "I hate to tell you this but there's a big tomato branch in the middle of your yard." In the MIDDLE of my yard? That's not where the plants are.

Steve finished my deck on Saturday. This is a monumental event. It's beautiful and huge. No bigger than the previous one, but does not have all the crap on it that the other one did. Looks wonderful and hopefully my retroactive raise money will be enough to pay off the rest of what I owe him for it. I think the total cost will be about $1100-1200. More than I'd intended. Of course, there's $75 in there for repairs to his saw, which I ran over with my car.

Sunday Jenica and I had a really nice dinner at Linda's with Bill, Ken, Fred and Bill's "ward," a 21-year old from his neighborhood who has 4 children and does work for Bill (we call him "the boy from the 'hood"). As usual, it was a good meal and lots of fun. The only problem was that it was an hour later than usual and Linda, Erdvilas and I were invited to a big meal next door at Roger Douglas', which was supposed to start at 4. Less than 2 hours after we finished our meal at Linda's. It was painful. We didn't go to Roger's until 4:30, but Linda and I were struggling. Erdvilas, apparently can eat any amount of anything at any time. There was wild boar sausage, deep fried turkey injected with Cajun seasoning and deep fried roast beef from the cow that Roger bought, which was injected with some kind of seasoning, and lots of other stuff. Dessert was two kinds of apple pie and cheesecake. I drank a lot of beer but didn't get drunk for some reason. It was actually a really nice party with people I don't usually socialize with. Roger's sister Laura and her husband were there, as were some people from up the lake (who aren't generally very sociable to me). Roger and Laura are the children of the lake's villain, who pillages and plunders the lakefront with plans for development, cottage rentals and his campsites. Roger, however, has a completely different attitude about the future of the lake and hates what his father is doing. I adore Roger, think he's the cutest thing in the world. He's my plow man and neighbor. He gets a kick out of me and takes very good care of me as well. He's Linda's caretaker.

At this party there were 3 pugs, 1 golden retriever, my dog Tess, 1 German shorthaired pointer, 1 shit zhu and 6 children. We closed the gates on the deck so the dogs wouldn't run away. Not everyone there was crazy about dogs but they were very tolerant. I got to talk with Roger and another person about hummingbirds and when you should stop feeding them (never: they'll leave on their own--it's a myth that, if you don't stop feeding them they won't leave), the white fawn I've seen twice (it's doomed, according to Roger, but he won't shoot it because it's bad luck), the number of wild turkeys in the neighborhood ("There must be 250 turkeys within a 2 mile radius"--an exaggeration, to be sure, but there are TONS of them around), and the mallards that someone has tamed enough to eat bread out of your hand (they waddled all the way up the hill to where Jerry was working on his camp, to quack at him to feed them. Jerry and Roger both said the ducks will migrate in spite of being tamed. I still have my doubts about that.). I had a really nice time but felt totally sick to my stomach from the food.

Our new director starts soon. We all agree that the Old Director (OD) is taking the approach that if you're of no use to her you're ripe for abuse by her. I spent the day with her at a systemwide meeting and she was charming and presented a wealth of information. There are some things she knows a great deal about (including emotional torture). New director arrives in the area next week but doesn't officially start until 10/2. Boy oh boy that day can't arrive soon enough!

It's amazing to me how busy Labor Day Weekend is at Silver Lake. I was busy from Friday night right through last night. Friday I went out for dinner with Linda and Erdvilas, to one of their favorite restaurants in Wilmington. We had a nice time, the food was ok but I had an absolutely undrinkable drink. This pleased Erdvilas a lot, and me, since I could compliment him on his bartending acumen even more. After dinner I had a GOOD drink at Linda's camp and toddled on home.

Saturday was a beautiful day. I spent the morning doing road clean up with the Hawkeye Conservationists. We got a lot of garbage and had a successful time doing it. It was sunny and bright. There were enough volunteers to cover the nearly-6-mile stretch of roadway we are committed to, and we filled several garbage bags. I got "caught" picking up garbage in a friend's driveway: he told me later that he saw someone with a garbage bag in his driveway, but as soon as he recognized me he went back to his breakfast. I visited with Annie in the afternoon--she and Rush were here for the weekend (since Congress was in recess). Steve was at my house all day, working on the deck. It's almost finished, all that's left is the small bit that will tie in the side door and the front deck, plus the little deck in front of the side door. Of course, this could take weeks at his pace. Anyway he got a lot done on Saturday, less after I ran over his circular saw. My friend Ann from Baltimore came for a quick visit as well, since she and Kathy left on Sunday.

Saturday night was the Main Event: a Vodka Tasting Party at Linda's. This really was an amazing thing. It was Bill's idea and he brought his 3 close friends from work. Erdvilas had lined up 7 small glasses in front of each of the 8 chairs around the table. First we tasted 7 different vodkas at room temperature, then we tasted each of them straight from the freezer (the way vodka is meant to be consumed). It was a blind test, even E. didn't know which was which. We discussed odor (vodka is not supposed to have any odor), flavor, smoothness and overall impression. Everyone had a favorite. Prices ranged from $12 a bottle to $40 a bottle. We had food with the frozen round, the type of food that E. had ordained to be appropriate to accompany vodka (smoked trout, salmon pate, tapenade, etc.). Much discussion, a great time. Small sips, not enough to get anyone drunk. The final determination was that the most expensive vodkas, Grey Goose, Plantation and the new French vodka made from grapes (inexcusable, according to E.) were no one's favorites. The cheapest (Smirnoff) also no one's favorite. His favorite, the harsh Stoli, no one else liked. Bill and his friends all preferred Absolut. I preferred a Polish potato vodka that costs $13 a bottle. Mostly I'm not a big vodka fan but over the years E. has taught me to appreciate it. He then made us 2 martinis to pass around, one gin and one vodka. I do NOT like gin martinis but am developing a taste for vodka martinis. As usual a slave to fashion.

The tasting was followed by a delicious dinner and lots of good conversation. A really nice group of people.

Sunday morning, another beautiful day, I got to spend relaxing at my house before Sunday dinner. I hosted Sunday dinner on the boat house porch, with Bill providing the food. Cold chicken, potato salad and cole slaw. Rush and Annie were at my house visiting in the morning and helped me make brownies and set up the b.house. We had a great time with everyone, L & E, Bill, Ken, Rush & A. Jim (cousin) stopped by and had tea with us all after dinner. He was there to see cousin Elsa next door.

After dinner Elsa insisted on having a dog play date with my dogs and the 13-week old choc. Lab puppy her visiting friend had brought, so we walked to my house with Janis Joplin the Puppy and Elsa's awful Jack Russell terrier mix Midget. My dogs were first more interested in eating apples from the wild apple trees, but eventually got really interested in Janis and played long and hard while Midge made awful barking and growling sounds. I finally had to ask Elsa to leave, I had dinner plans at 5.

Sunday night I had 3 dinner invitations and accepted one with good friends I don't often get to see. He's a glass blower from the Finger Lakes region, she's a nurse/teacher. They have 2 camps; hers is one of the cabins from the girls' camp, his belonged to his parents. I had a a great time with them. His 2 adult children were there, along with 2 friends of theirs. We ate, laughed a lot and sat around a huge campfire for a really long time. I got home around 11:30. A really successful day but exhausting.

Yesterday was peaceful. I spent most of it by myself. Some time at home, watching morning news of the New Orleans situation. Rush's sister Jane lives in New Orleans and is still in her house, with no water or power and struggling to get by. She will be evacuated probably today or tomorrow and will fly to NJ to live with Rush and Annie until she can return to her house. Her neighborhood was not flooded. Anyway, I got to spend some time on the dock in the warm autumn sun yesterday, and swam in the still-warm lake water. It was heavenly. There are hardly any boats on the lake now and it was almost silent. Just the loons. My dogs were peaceful and I read Wicked, the biography of the Wicked Witch, the book our book group is now reading. Others will perhaps enjoy it more than I am but I'm working on it.

Last night I ate with L & E and E. cooked a wonderful meal. We had filet mignon cooked to perfection, with Bernaise sauce and wild mushrooms picked by Linda. I drank vodka martinis. We sat around the campfire after dinner and enjoyed each other and the moment immensely.

Today I am back at work and my life is returning to normal. I have only one dinner invitation for the week (so far) and will be able to spend time at my house. I have a lot, lot, lot of firewood to stack and I should be working hard getting things ready for winter. There is something wrong with the pump/water system at camp and I must report this to Jim. I spent hours watching news of New Orleans voraciously over the weekend, nearly all the time at my house was spent in front of the television worrying about displaced and dying people, fretting about their futures. And, I must admit, feeling fortunate that hurricanes are not natural disasters I have to worry about.

I'm by myself in my department today, one of my favorite times. I've spent the morning cataloging stuff for the Champlain library. Nothing very interesting, and it's about to get less interesting as I dive into their videos. Only a few dozen, though, not a big collection. I've been watching videos of New Orleans, looking at satellite images of the city, reading news stories in between my work. Still incredible. And amazing that the authorities didn't think of the 100,000 people who didn't have cars or other transportation to get out of the city when everyone else could be evacuated. America is such a class-oriented society.

I spend a lot of time cleaning up our data base, making sure all the subject headings are spelled right and are uniform. This morning I changed all the subdivisions relating to Egypt so they match are are correct. Some of the B.C.'s had spaces between them, which results in the computer filing them in a different place, thus separating them from the rest of the pack. I need to do work like this for every author and subject heading in our data base but there is no methodical way to do it, so I do is as I come across the problem, one by one. In some ways it's the most rewarding part of my job, like herding little ducklings back to the rest of their flock.

I love being surrounded by my friends, my very good friends, and having my own house and my own boat house to retreat to. My bubble, my space, when the visiting is over. I had a great time last night with the 6 people at dinner, really nice conversation, jokes, good food, catching up, political discussion, and I saw Rush on the way home, but when I got home--there I was, in my own space, alone and quiet. I like that very much. Tonight I will make at least 2 stops on my way home, one to deliver the NY Times to Linda and one to deliver some books I promised I would pick out for the hostess from last night. She likes having me be her personal librarian and I don't like the pressure but do like testing my readers advisory ability.

Should I sleep in the boat house tonight? One of these nights I have to spray the huge wasps' nest hanging on the side door of my house so that Steve can attach the side to the front deck. It wasn't cold enough this morning, they were already busy flying around when I got up this morning. It has to be 50, I think, or maybe just night time. Last night when I walked past my apple tree I heard something moving in the brush. Shined my flashlight and there about 3 feet from me was a huge porcupine eating apples on the ground. We communicated for a while before he loped away. "Stay away from my dogs!" was pretty much all I said, besides "Eat all the apples you want." He was cute, as porcupines go, but boy was he a big one. A little too comfortable around me, maybe. The wildlife in my neighborhood has become very relaxed around people. The deer are not so afraid of cars anymore, which is not a good thing. I see does and fawns almost every day, next to or near the road.

Chances has been eating the sugar during the day. Don't know why suddenly it appeals to her so much. After the first time she did it I refilled the sugar bowl but now I think I won't do that again. She lost the 25 mg Prednisone pills that Tess needs to take for her ragweed allergy so I'll have to go to the vet's on Monday and explain that one. Lots of luck getting them to believe me. I can't find the small white envelope ANYWHERE. I spent about an hour looking in the kitchen and living room yesterday, then vacuumed them both, to no avail. I still have the 5 mg pills that she gets weaned down to eventually, but there were a lot of pills in that envelope. Hard enough keeping track of my own meds, don't need problems with the dogs' as well!

It's another beautiful sunny day here and is supposed to be nice for the next few days. I'm seeing more maples with color, though, so it's a matter of time. My wood was delivered and is screaming at me every time I walk past it. Must mow lawn, must stack wood. Get to it, girl!

Why do people say things that aren't true? And why do they say things about other people that aren't true? I'm caught in something unpleasant right now that's due to someone's apparent desire to create a problem for me. This is not unusual in my life but is usually limited to my work situation. Now it's happening in my personal life, which is most upsetting, and it's messing with my family. I need to find peace at least somewhere!

I have great peace and happiness in my social life, full of good friends and much activity. This is the time of year when there are many people, many invitations, lots of good times. Last night I had dinner with Linda and Erdvilas, who had invited two artists I really like. Sue & Terry have a gallery and used to sell my baskets, were in fact the first I ever asked to sell my baskets for me, and were always very nice and encouraging about it. They had their kids with them, who are no longer kids but are now in high school and are very nice people. I really enjoyed the evening and wasn't even the last to leave, as I usually am. Linda asked me to get the wine, which is a huge amount of pressure to put on me because E. knows so very much about wine and is terribly critical of others' wine choices. She said to get something Italian, so I did, and he was very pleased with my choices. I got a red from Sicily and a white from somewhere else that was a different type of wine I'd never had before. Whew!

Tonight I'm having dinner with a couple from California. He's written (and published) several young adult novels and is very quiet. She's very nice and is a former camper. Her brother owns the camp where they're staying and is one of "The Boys." Ken and Bill will also be there as well as the women from Baltimore. I actually turned down a dinner invitation the other night, retreating to my home for some privacy. Saturday night there's a dinner and vodka tasting at Linda's with some of Bill's friends. Sunday is Sunday dinner at Linda's and a pig roast at a friend's house. I'd like to skip the pig roast but it's a woman from my book group and we try to be supportive of each other so I should go. We'll see.

My friends the Holts may come this weekend and may stay with me. I haven't heard back from them, but they left a message a few days ago saying they were coming and needed a place to stay. I left a message saying they were welcome to stay with me and they can stay in the boat house. Now I have to figure out something about the food. I don't know who, if anyone will be in camp. I don't have much money for groceries but will have to get supplies enough for breakfast and lunch, and will need to figure out something about dinners. Would be nice to know how many meals and which ones, wouldn't it? Or even if they're really coming.

I've been watching videos on my computer here at work about the mess in New Orleans--BBC has the best, I think, and it's incredibly discouraging and awful. Truly amazing that America is having a tragedy like this. Caught unprepared, not believing that something like this would ever happen to us. Meanwhile, the price of gas on my way home ranged from $2.95 to $3.25 last night. This game of "How high can it go" is getting pretty tiresome.

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated. At work and school, you do best when you're organizing. When you love someone, you tend to worry about them. In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic. Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management. You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

Well I'm certainly thankful I wasn't an only child, I loved having my brother and sister in my life. As for feeling frustrated, yes, I am frustrated, usually by my inability to fix things for myself and other people so that everyone has what they want and is happy. And by my failings. This makes my life a frustrating existence. Leaving my mark on the world? Perhaps by writing something, but most likely NOT self-help books. A record of my existence, perhaps.

Aug 26, 7:05 AM EDT

Chinese try to get chimp to quit smoking

XI'AN, China (AP) -- The handlers of a smoking chimpanzee in a zoo in northwest China are trying to get her to kick the habit.

The 26-year-old female chimpanzee has been smoking for 15 years. Her mate died recently, which caused her to smoke even more.

Now, the chimp's keepers are worried about her health as a result of her intense smoking. So, they're trying to give her milk instead of cigarettes.

She started smoking years ago by picking up butts from tourists.


© 2005 The Associated Press. All righ


Well, you know, you can teach a monkey to make a sandwich...

I had a busy weekend but managed to spend several hours in my famous telescope chair on the dock, reading, sunning and napping. Dogs were there, napping on the end of the dock in between their visits with my cousins' children's children. That was Saturday and it was wonderful. The water is colder, due to cold nights we've been having, but it was still great for swimming and dunking when my skin got hot.

Friday night I ended up at a friend's camp on Union Falls, one with probably the best view of any camp I've seen. Whiteface, the end of the bluffs, tip of Silver Lake Mountainn bluffs in the distance, Catamount and Douglas. I showed up as a surprise, which thrilled Peter because he's invited me at least 4 times and I've either been unable to come or haven't wanted to come (last time I was in my jammies). I met the people who live in the really nice house about 2 miles down the hardtop and had a nice long talk with them. They were as excited to meet me as I was to meet them, which is such a nice feeling--someone knows of you and wants to meet you. I had a long visit with Dennis, who is the caretaker for the big girls camp at the end of the lake and lives there intermittently in the winter. Linda and Erdvilas were there (which is why I was there, I tagged along with them). There was some strange man who was building a house in the woods for a friend and was living in the house while he was building it. Linda said he had his sights set on me but I must be really out of touch because I didn't notice it at all and I even gave him a ride back to his car later on. I spent the evening trying to figure out where this house of his was being built. Anyway it was really nice to be there and I enjoyed myself a whole lot.

Saturday night I had dinner with my cousins, ones we have avoided being with for the last several years. There sons are now 15 and 12 and are turning out to be very nice people. The parents are actually almost pleasant except I had to sit on the porch with the mother for 45 minutes after dinner, in the dark strugglingg to stay awake while she told me all about the seminars and workshops she attended earlier in the summer, learning how to teach Spanish better and hearing an incredibly detailed description of the project she did comparing male vs. female treatmentt of romantic tales in early Spain. yawn. Anyway they are always very nice to me and very welcoming and I like their sons. Yes, family, faint in surprise, I like those boys now, they are nice.

Sunday dinner was at Linda's and was delicious. It was grilled lamb chops, which I don't normally like, but she had marinated them and they were really good. Fred joined us but Bill was unable to be there. We had a really nice time. I went home, hung out, read a really awful nasty letter from my mother, got depressed and sad, then got invited to dinner by my cousins from across the lake. Nice surprise. They have two children, a 2 year old and an infant. Kelly, the baby, slept the entire time, but Kyle was running around and very busy all evening. I had a good visit with Tom and Sheila, whom I hadn't spent any time with earlier in the summer, and who are good friends.

So, whew! what a weekend. I got next to no housework done. I watched Kevin Costner's The Upside of Anger last night, which wasn't bad but sure wasn't very funny. He's aging well, though.

And now I'm back at work, cataloging Jack Nicholson Cult Classics, a 3-video set that includes the 1961 version of Little Shop of Horrors. Is there someone in Saranac Lake waiting to watch it?

It's a beautiful day
I went for a ride at lunch, to run errands, and picked up my pictures. Mostly they are pictures of my cousins' children and their children (these would be my first cousins twice removed). There are some very nice pictures of some very nice children. They will go in the camp photo album, and in 10-15 years these children will really enjoy looking at them, as we all enjoy looking at the albums my mother put together over the last 40 years. I didn't take any good pictures last year, nor did I put together the collection from 2003. I need to do that, and to put these in the album I have. We have a picture taken each year of the family meeting (as my brother said, some families have reunions, our family has a meeting) and I include that in the album as well.

Last night my friend Linda had her annual campfire party. It was unusually big this year because more people were around for it. Some of my favorite people were there, and I sat in the middle of the gathering, next to the fire, surrounded by my tribe of friends, feeling very happy and very much part of the group. A nice group. Among them is a woman who used to date Christopher Reeve. Yes, Superman has been to Silver Lake. Two of her daughters and her niece put on a musicale for us, selections from the show Oliver! It was totally wonderful and sweet and reminded me so much of my sister and me when we were that age, around 8 and 10. They sang and acted out about 4 scenes. This was one of the musicals my father really enjoyed, and he used to play it for us when we came home from school for lunch, every day. When we left the house he would quote the play and say, in a British accent "I shall be waiting for you hear when you get back." It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized how much he enjoyed feeding his daughters their lunches every day.

Anyway, I had a wonderful time at the campfire, and after the 35 or so people all left, Erdvilas, Linda and I sat around the embers and reviewed the evening. The little girls who put on the play were the same ones who had my dogs last year, and one of them said to me "Tessie visited us the other day, she swam out to our float with us and stayed for a really long time." I didn't say "Yes, and I cried my eyes out with worry while she was gone." I just said how nice they had been to her. But the evening was truly special and made me realize what great friends I have and how much I like being part of the community I live in. I'm not sure I could stand it all year long, though, but I sure do enjoy the summer.

Tomorrow is supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny. Sounds like a dock day to me. Better vacuum the living room, clean the bathroom and finish the laundry tonight! Ken said he had the liquor bottles out and ready for me last night, but I never showed up. I got my hair cut instead, and honestly I can't stop there every single night, I have to have my own life. I told him I'd stop tonight.

I tried to pick blackberries last night but the deer had eaten them all in one spot where I pick. They nipped the branches right down. On my way to Linda's there was a doe and fawn standing at the edge of the road, just standing there, not even swishing their tails. It was a stand-off, me in my car and them. Their ears were huge and they refused to move. Finally little fawn flipped its huge white tail, as big as the tail on a dog, and leapt into the woods. Its mother waited until it was a safe distance away, then followed. They were really pretty. But they've eaten all the blackberries!

Steve worked on my deck yesterday. He has the front finished, but has come to a grinding halt on the side and stairs connecting to the mud room door because there is a huge (2-foot wide) paper wasps' nest in the corner of the door. Very dramatic. I don't know when they built that, sometime in the past few weeks. He said he would spray the poison into it if I bought the stuff and left the can on the deck. Yeah! for him, I'm too short to have a stable grip on the ladder and spray at the same time.

I must finish stacking my firewood this weekend too, since Ken wants another load, Linda wants a load, and I need another load. There's no place to put my load until I clear out the spot where the first load was dumped. Then I'll have to stack the whole SECOND load! And soon, too. Winter is approaching.

Liza's space

Liza's space
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Molly's space

Molly's space
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Liza in repose

Liza in repose
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Molly at work

Molly at work
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Tess

Tess
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Molly's new glasses

Molly's new glasses
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

What my life is like
Right now it's very dull. The most striking things I've dealt with this week are:
I was late for work because I didn't think I had to go to work on Monday so I went back to sleep
I got the wrong size coffee this morning at the store because my eyes deceived me and I picked up the wrong cup
I spent an hour yesterday trying to establish an authority record in the data base for a new series, but needed to delete the record for an old series that had the same subtitle, but couldn't delete that record because the records with the new series had the title of the new series attached, etc. Catch-22 with Horizon.
I almost forgot that I have an appointment to have my hair cut today and am supposed to go berrying with a friend instead: SCHEDULING CONFLICT, OH NO!
My dog's ragweed allergy is acting up and I took her to the vet for prednisone. I saved $22 because I diagnosed it correctly myself so all I had to spend was the $6 for the pills and she didn't need to see the vet (although he came out into the waiting room full of people to see where the hair was missing from her scratching)
I had to spend MORE than $22 to replace the purse she subsequently chewed the straps off of the next day.
I have been cataloging videos, old rotten videos for one of our libraries ALL WEEK long and it is very boring. very boring. The days are dragging on and on and 7.5 hours has never taken so long to get through.
Tonight my friends and I will sit around a campfire together and drink a lot. I am looking forward to this.
Everyone at work agrees that Pat Robertson is a fool and should not be Secretary of State, even though we would save a lot of money and could balance the budget if he were.
I turned on the heat in my living room night before last because it was really cold. This may be the earliest I have done that but I doubt it.
The dog peed on the bed in her sleep the other night. A big, wet puddle that I put my foot in when I stretched out in my sleep. It was the same night that I dreamed my mother, my sister and I were going to Paris together.


All of these things make up my week. I am not being forced out of my home in Gaza. I am not in danger of stepping on a land mine. I am not being threatened by a hurricane. I do not have a dog that bites me or other people (my friend with the therapy dog had her dog lunge, teeth bared, at another friend's son recently. We all secretly giggled because Ann is so proud of her therapy dog). I do not have a son serving in a war I do not believe in (although I still do not believe in the war). And, as usual, I do not have cancer.

At work, listening to Internet radio. Always a risky proposition. Today I read Molly's email letter, which made me feel in touch with her, made me miss her, made me feel sad. So what I hear on the radio is like a trip through my past, which I shared with a number of people. First I hear Crosby, Stills and Nash. Well, that's Howard, a special time in my life. Early college, insecurity but incredible happiness and being cherished so much by someone really wonderful. Then we have some Donovan. My sister, late high school. NOT a good time for either of us, particularly, but his voice somehow makes me feel ok right now, just makes me miss my sister. Sort of a sad sound today. Then there is a lot of the Beatles, first Sgt Pepper. That makes me feel wonderful at the sound, the harmony, the music, but it makes me miss my brother terribly. He introduced me to that music, he loved the album and thought it was a great revolution in music. "You've GOT to listen to this," he said as we sat in his room at Winthrop Lane. So that music sometimes makes me very happy because it's truly wonderful and a marvel, but it's pure Henry to me. Then we have "Here Comes the Sun" Beatles, which is what I always wanted to, and did have played at my wedding. I love that song, it means nothing but good cheer and hope for the present to me.

And now I return to cataloging crappy CD's for Schroon Lake, with Led Zepplin wailing away. That's just college dorm music.

I just spent 20 minutes visiting with a good friend of mine, one of the first friends I made when I moved here 20 years ago. She's the mother of a woman who became my best friend, half of a couple which made up the quartet of my ex-husband, myself, Brook and Dan. Brook and Dan: they lived in a one-room cabin without running water. She worked with me, part time, then moved on in her career climb until she was head of the County Youth Bureau, a very professional job. She finally said she needed more--like, indoor plumbing, and a man who had a real job and a commitment to a relationship that included real communication. We all adored Dan, who has a great intellect and sense of humor, but who keeps most of what's going on with himself inside. I've seen him within the last 7 or 8 years, spent some time with him, just the two of us, and since I don't take him too seriously we had a great time together. Anyway, Brook's mother Ann was here to see me and in the course of her visit she told me that the land next to their 40 acres was sold and the survey that was done revealed that the parcel of land their house (which is a special, owner-built home with only solar and generator-provided power) sits on is not on their property, but rather on the parcel that was sold. This has been an understandably huge and emotionally stressful deal for them. They think they can buy the land from the new owner and it will all work out but she's worried that, if they can't they will have nowhere to go. I told her they can certainly move into my house, with their 2 dogs and 4 cats. I have an entire upstairs that was built to support a second family. She was moved to tears. I always offer my house as a home to people in need: I have all this space, and it's certainly available to people who need a place to live. People I can stand to live with, of course. I told her that if they're going to live there for any length of time her husband will have to build an outside entrance and will have to finish the upstairs kitchen.

Before she came I was playing with pictures posted by my sister and my niece, trying to decide which one I want for my desktop image. First I had Molly's view of Torca, then I settled on Jenica's view from the bluffs at Silver Lake. I like to change images often, makes that part of my life interesting. I spent a lot of time on interlibrary loan this morning, both clerks are out. One is due in 10 minutes ago. I sort of enjoy ILL, but it's really frustrating here because we can only find the books about 75% of the time. I don't understand where the books are the rest of the time.

I had quite a weekend. Friday night was Big City Bingo, the 16th annual. There was a record crowd: 51 people. We play for prizes that are picked up at yard sales, donated by people, baked goods, etc. I talked Fred into picking a 5" TV set that you can plug into your car for me when he won his 2nd time. "DON'T WATCH TV WHILE YOU DRIVE!" every told me. I won't, I just thought it was really neat. Do you know how cute a 5" TV is? Now I can listen to Oprah on the way home from work. Or not. Anyway we had a lot of fun and I didn't win a single thing, which was GOOD. The grand prize was a change purse made out of a toad, front legs and head intact. Totally gross, but Jim Nadal, the winner, wore it around his neck proudly for the rest of the evening.

Saturday afternoon the Hawkeye Conservationists (shoreowners' assoc.) met at our camp, so I was the hostess. Prepared refreshments and set up the porch for them. We had about 20 people, not bad for our annual meeting. We have 75 members, which is good. All went well, uneventful, with good suggestions for programs for next year. Linda is our new president. After the meeting Tess followed someone somewhere and was gone for more than 3 hours. I searched frantically for her, including 2 trips into the bog, one going halfway up the bluffs before it got too dark so I turned around. I cried, deciding that I'd lost 2 dogs this summer. I searched the roadway for her body. There was still a car in the bog parking lot at dusk, so there was a chance she was with the people who where on the bluffs. Sure enough, after 8:30, in total darkness when I went to camp she was running down to the boat house in a frantic search for me. Of course I cried harder when I found her.

Sunday dinner was at Bill's camp, hosted by our good friends (who also put on Big City Bingo). He's a judge, they're from Mass. I like them a lot. We spend Columbus Day weekend together. Anyway, Ken made his baked beans so it was a special occasion. I stopped at Linda's first, to welcome her and deliver some fresh eggs I picked up in Peru Friday night. Erdvilas invented a new drink for me, which we call The Lost Dog, in honor of Tess. After dinner I prepared food for my book group, which met at the boat house. All 6 of us were there, discussing a book entitled "We are gathered here," about life in the Adirondack iron mine regions in the late 19th century. We had a great time and everyone liked the book and the refreshments. Stayed for 2 1/2 hours. Lin even called me up last night to tell me how great the evening was--good hostess, good food, good book, she said. I made a crab dip with crab meat that had been left behind by some camper a while ago. I didn't think it was that great. I had tons of cut up vegetables with 2 kinds of dips. Good organic juices with seltzers to mix with. It was a really nice evening. Next book we're reading is Wicked by Geoffrey Maguire. About the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz.

And now it's today and the day is nearly half over and I have little to show for my time. I've got plenty to catalog for Tupper Lake. Old travel books. Has much changed in Colorado in the last 20 years? I think so, but apparently they don't. We had a good laugh about "Walking Barbados" on Friday. It's hard to get a flight to Barbados, you never know where it'll be once it starts walking.

Mountain women

Mountain women
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Back at work, after a long break. Had two very nice weeks off. Spent time here, at the lake and spent time in Rhode Island, in the Ocean State. Saw a LOT of people I'm related to. There were, apparently 40 people at camp the day of our annual meeting. 20 people staying at camp for a few days, then 17 for a few more days. Then we left. I drove to Rhode Island, back to the Adirondacks, to Burlington three times, back to Rhode Island, then home. I got to be with my sister for 2 solid weeks with pretty much enough time apart. I got to see my nieces, and got to spend days and days with my sister's daughter. I NEVER get to see her and I really enjoy being with her so I loved that. She is great. Jenica and I had our standard let's-be-librarians-together time, but we got to have Drew too, which made it even more fun. We all sat on the dock a whole lot, and stood in the water to read as well, since we had day after day of broiling hot weather. That weather, however, was nothing compared to what happened when we got to RI. It was in the 90's and terribly humid when we returned there on Thursday. Too hot to swim in the ocean, I think.

Anyway, it all made me happy to be part of my family, and it all made me think of my brother and miss him very much. I am thankful to have the family I have left and I love them very much. I did not go to the cemetery but my sister took a lot of digital pictures of his grave, other graves, my mother planting flowers, etc., so I feel very connected to it all and that makes me feel good. It made me feel sad to think of going there so I didn't want to go. Next year I will be stronger and will plant flowers on my brother's grave. This year I could not.

It was raining when I got home, and I was happy to see that but I feel really bad that there is no rain in Rhode Island. They are in desperate need of rain and I hate to see that. Drought is something that really frightens me. It was in the 60's last night, very cool and comfortable. Only in the 70's today here--what I consider to be NORMAL temperatures. Very pleasant.

I wrote my first review for Library Journal today and emailed it to them. I reviewed the book The Storm Gourmet: a guide to creating extraordinary meals without electricity. It's a good book, except it's clearly written for hurricane victims: at one point the author instructs the reader to pick up the tropical fruit that's fallen in the neighbor's yard. Lots of mangos and avocados in the recipes, but some useful stuff as well.

I also sorted through 348 emails, most of them spam and online newspapers. I read plots of the last 2 episodes of Six Feet Under, since I found out last night when I watched it that one of the main characters had died while I was gone. Only one more episode left in the whole show. Didn't realize I'd been watching it for 5 years.

Got my med. situation straightened out with my doctor. He'll give me samples to tide me over until my prescription can be filled on 9/9. Guess the pharmacy shorted me the whole bunch of pills I needed between now and then--2.5 pills a day. Disconcerting.

The day has been pretty quiet, all in all. Internet was down for most of the morning so I sorted through my paper work--journals, notices, bills that have come in while I was out. Read my review book. Contemplated my August schedule. Tomorrow I can start cataloging again and can put together a massive book order, since I'm way behind with that.

I looked at a bunch of pictures from Colorado--we've all posted our pictures on the same site, accessing our images via our own emails and passwords. I ordered some prints of other peoples' pictures, some nice group shots. They were pretty cheap, about 12 cents each.

And now I'll start reading book reviews. yawn.

The day before vacation is a combination of "I'll never get this all finished in time" and "I don't have enough to do to kill the rest of the afternoon." Right now I'm debating whether to start cataloging the notoriously boring and complicated holdings of Port Henry's library or to find something less strenuous to do, like read book reviews. I should be checking authority entries--EEEEEWWWWWWW. That is totally mind-numbing but crucial to the quality of the data base and I never do it often enough so it just builds into this hugundous task that takes hours and hours of doing. Not to be started this afternoon, I think.

My sister is in America and I feel much better. I have access to her. I could call her up right now if I wanted to. Well, probably not now, she's probably swimming at the Salty Brine State Beach in Galilee, Rhode Island. It's a nice beach, but there are a lot of people at that beach, my only complaint about it. The sand there is very fine and white. When I get to Rhode Island, probably on Sunday, I'll settle into whichever sleeping area I'm assigned to, try to get my dogs to settle down, and heave a sigh of relief. There is much between me and that moment. I have to clean my house because my family will be using it, my mother will be staying there next weekend. I have to be secretary at the Conservationists' meeting tomorrow afternoon. I will probably go to Sunday dinner with Bill and Ken before leaving for RI. I have to stack at LEAST 15 wheel barrow loads of firewood. I'm doing a minimum of 6 loads a night. So far so good. And of course I have to pack. That takes about 20 minutes, and I'm half done because I never completely put everything away from Colo. Bought new t-shirts so I have lots to wear. Just bought another pair of shoes in my search for the pair of perfect summer shoes. Nope, these are not the pair. Time to give up Got good flip-flops, though--so now I can go to the White House.

Weather broke here and it's been cold at night. Turned on my mattress pad to keep warm. Tess is torn between sleeping under the covers and on top. Under, over, under, over at least 4 times before settling down. The bed is totally unmade before the 3 of us go to sleep. I think it's funny and am getting used to sleeping in a complete tangle of sheets and comforter. Why do we have to have our beds neatly organized while we sleep? I have to take both dogs with me to RI, since I now only have 2 and cannot ask Lin to stay at my house for only one dog and cannot afford to board Tess for the number of days I will be gone. It is not particularly fun to have both dogs there, but Tess and my mother's dog really do enjoy being together. At least the human population density will be relatively low, only my sister and I will be there this time. At Easter and other times when it's just Mark, Liza and me it works out pretty well.

I'm looking forward to going to RI. Ocean sun, good seafood, family tradition time in my mother's house. The three women together--what's left of the immediate SR family. Then it's on to Silver Lake, where things change drastically. Many, many Rogers and it will be hard on my mother. She does not enjoy the weekend of the family meeting, there are too many people to suit her, and relationships are complicated. I try to protect her, and spend a lot of time listening to and soothing her. I visit with my cousins a bit, and would like to spend more time in the boat house with my sister and Jenica--I've never stayed in the boat house with my sister. Meeting weekend I always stay at my house to keep my mother company. Someday, maybe. This year I'd like it if my sister had some time in the boat house to herself so she could enjoy it the way I've been enjoying it. Well, hell--there's just not enough time and there are too many people, but that's life. I may sleep on the front porch of camp, if Liza stays in the boat house with Molly after the meeting weekend. That's a great place to sleep. It's a huge screened-in porch so it's like sleeping outside. A little bit of privacy, not much.

And now I have to take care of the interlibrary loan books that came in the mail this afternoon--both my clerks are out today so I have checked in about 150 books, processed 40 ILL requests, checked out books for Monday's delivery, and done a bit of cataloging (opera videos for Lake Placid--UGH!). Then I will print out crossword puzzles to take to RI with me.

I have to go to the credit union, the liquor store (bourbon to take to RI with me), the grocery store (Diet Coke to have on hand and take with me), Seltzer (take with me), dog food (no explanation necessary), dog biscuits, batteries for my clock and flashlights. Last night I bought Ken's socks and had the oil changed in my car. Tonight I would like to vacuum it. I'm not hysterical about this trip yet, but there are 2 days between me and it.

The best women in Colo

The best women in Colo
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Chances are, July 2005

Chances are, July 2005
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Dogs watch Jenica swim

Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Silver lake sunrise

Silver lake sunrise
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

Watch out fish!
Originally uploaded by woodsrun.

We had fly fishing lessons from cute guides on the Colorado River. I caught a big one, set the hook but couldn't land it. It was a great dat.

Back from Colorado, where it was a different world, different me. I was Betsy for 5 days. How strange was it to introduce myself to guides, to strangers, as Betsy, and to have them call me Betsy? But that's who I was for 5 days, among people I've known since 3rd grade, from my former life. I had a great time, I really enjoyed it. I felt surrounded by really, really nice people, part of a group. There were lots of times when I noticed that there were conversations going on all around me, everyone was talking to someone except me, but it didn't bother me: that was how it was when we were young, that's what I've always been like. These people are very nice, caring, funny, clever, intelligent people whose company I have always craved. I feel lucky that they have included me in their circle. Last time I was with them I wasn't sure they wanted me there, I wasn't sure I was welcome and I didn't feel much part of the group. This time it was better, I felt part of the circle. There were two who had never been part of this ritual and one who had missed a few, so everyone was into the scene in a different, less ritualistic way. It was great.

And COLORADO! What a great place. I have always loved Colorado. I used to feel it was the second place I was meant to live, 2nd only to the Adirondacks. I still feel more at home there than in many places, but of course Vail is not a place I would fit in. It was beautiful and we saw places where there are few enough people living so that I would feel comfortable there. Big sheep farms, with small, round trailer-type things on wheels that our guide told us were what the sheep-herders lived in when the sheep were in the fields. Cool.

We had fun hiking, but it was really hard on my asthmatic lungs to keep up. Luckily there were a number of us who weren't interested in charging ahead so we all stopped and sat to visit while the rest of the group went on ahead. We had taken the gondola to the top of the Vail ski center. The view was spectacular, lots of snow-capped peaks (SCP's) and many more varieties of wildflowers than I'd anticipated. Kathy and I had great fun trying to see how many we could identify. I bought some seeds to plant at home. Wild irises, Indian paintbrush and something else I forget what.

We took fly fishing lessons that were just fantastic. I'VE FISHED THE COLORADO RIVER! We put on our waders at the foot of this steep incline, then clambered up (painfully and very tentatively) and back down again on the other side. I totally surprised myself with my bravery at walking along the edge of a drop-off. I can never, ever do that in the Adirondacks, but I had to do it to get where we were going. They weren't going to leave me behind! So we got to the river, which was nestled in the hills, very pretty. Some rudimentary instruction, then into the water we went with our guides. Priscilla and I had one guide to ourselves, a really cool 25-year old from college graduate from Wisconsin (whom we have much parental advice to during the 40 minute rides to and from the fishing site). He kept complimenting me on my casts--"That was perfect! Now you've got it!" What a great ego builder. I learned about the mend, rolling your line ahead of your flies. I finally caught what felt like a huge fish, set the hook, played it a little, but failed to land it. Priscilla caught one, which jumped out of the water, but then spit the hook out. She had the same problem I did in letting the fish play the line. But boy did we have fun. And I loved the way our guide "handled" us. Respectful but not overly solicitous. We walked back to the vehicles in hot, hot sun, but very happy. Long ride home.

HORSEBACK RIDING!! Rode up to a famous cabin/restaurant. Again, I was nervous. Last time I rode I was bucked over the horse's head at a full gallop and landed on my back. This horse, however, was very nice. He trotted voluntarily a couple of times but let me boss him around a little bit as well. Kathy had a huge black steed named Waylon. Priscilla, behind me, was on Rebel. I was on Santiago. Again we were on narrow trails with steep inclines and I was nervous. We saw Tom Hanks' huge house in Beaver Creek. This time our guide was Claus from Germany, probably the only cowboy who's also an interior designer. It was a lot of fun, and the dinner we had was delicious. Lots of wine, lots of food, and lots of laughter. I sat with Julie Anderson, who played the flute in 7th grade orchestra with me. Or I played with her. She was masterful, still is. It was really nice to have a chance to talk to her. These women are all remarkable in their own rite.

Saturday 6 of us went rafting on the Colorado. This was really great. Class II and III rapids ( out of VI). We had another wonderful guide, who was fantastic to us. At one point he stopped paddling and steering, sat back and said, "OK ladies, teamwork--I want you to get the raft between those two rocks." We tried, paddled like mad through the rapids, almost made it, but in the end got hung up and laughed a lot. At one point Priscilla and I jumped into the water and swam, floating down the river with the raft. The water was great.

Interspersed all of these activities was shopping, visiting, laughing, drinking, watching the moon rise, sleeping in bunk beds, talking about our lives, their children and feeling such a kinship with each other. Last time I felt completely different from all of them, as if I led a life that couldn't be more different. I am still the only one who has no life partner, but it doesn't make me feel different this time--that's just what my life is. I have no children, but there are 3 others as well. I find that immensely comforting.

I missed my brother terribly during this time, probably because these are people I knew from my Rockford days and it brought up memories of him. One woman wanted us to tell the best thing that happened to us since our last gathering, and the worst thing. I started to cry, knowing that Henry's death was the worst thing and knowing that I couldn't and didn't want to share this with them. The pain of losing him was so keen during these days, the tears always so near the surface. I wanted to be able to tell him about each of these people, to see who he would remember, knowing he would be interested in Kathy and some of the others, knowing he would tease me about some. And each recollection about Rockford, each mention of Rockford makes me think of him.

So I cried on the ferry last night, nearly home at last, the trip ending. I cried for Henry, I cried for my past. I miss him so much.

And today I'm at work, barely catching up and gearing up for the next phase of my summer: vacation with my sister, her daughter and my mother. Some time in Rhode Island and some time here. Many cousins will be with us here. yeow.

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

My natural talent of interpersonal relations is something I've spent most of my life trying to figure out how to do! I do communicate well, however. My calming presence is a myth. Some people crave my praise but mostly just my dogs do.

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest: You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you. At Your Lowest: You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life. In Love: You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude. How You're Attractive: You passion for life makes others passionate about you. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Having Fun?"

What's Your Power Color?

I've been staying in the boat house, and have had the most magical evenings. Sitting in the Saranac chair, which is like a chaise longe, only higher, and which is in the corner of the porch overlooking the lake and the mountains. There is no power on the porch so I do my crosswords by candlelight. This makes them more legitimate, somehow, although it makes the tiny numbers really hard to read. I like doing them and pretend I'm doing them to prevent the onset of Alzheimers or senility, but mostly I like doing them because they make me feel smart. Like playing Jeopardy against the person who make up the puzzle. These are ones I get from The Trentonian,off of the Internet. More challenging than most but I can still do them.

Anyway, there I sit at night, where it's as cool as it is anywhere, watching it get darker and darker on the lake. I interrupt myself just before it gets TOO dark and go for a swim. The water is totally black and all I can see when I swim underwater is the white sticks that are my arms. They're all blurry and ill-defined but look really cool. I love this. I look up to the porch, where I've only left 2 candles burning and the light, reflected against the red-brown of the siding, is very pretty. It's just really, really nice and I feel so lucky to have this experience to myself. And my dogs, of course. I have to let them share it with me or they sit on the porch and whine. Tess swims out to me in great panic, puffing as she swims fast. I'm teaching her to stay a certain distance away from swimmers--I push her away and say "WATCH OUT." It's not working very well. I tried splashing water in her face, which is what you're supposed to do. That didn't work at all. I can barely see her as she swims toward me, just the "V" in the water that she leaves behind her.

And it continues to be hot, so hot here. Unusual for the Adirondacks, and so many people are having bad sinus and lung reactions. Including me. I'm taking antihistamines and using my inhalers. I'm counting on my trip to Colorado to cure this problem, but first I need to mow my lawn, which will exacerbate the whole thing mercilessly. I need to clean my house for Lin. She is going to stay there and take care of Tess and Chances for the 5 days I will be gone. She doesn't need to feed the fish: Mr. Guppy died the other day, the last of the band of 4. I'll wait until after my August vacation to get any more, then I'll go back to the store and look at the whole array of fish before deciding who to get next (who will be the next victims?).

I'm off to Colo. tomorrow to be with about 17 friends from high school and junior high school. I'm nervous about the trip--have to make a connection in Newark going there, one in Cleveland coming back. Three people are meeting me in Denver to drive to Vail together, so the pressure's on not to miss my flight in Newark. I have a 7:00 a.m. flight from Burlington, so I think I need to leave home at 3 a.m. Won't the dogs be surprised when I wake them up? Won't I be surprised if I wake up? I'm looking forward to being in Colo. again, it's been many, many years since I was there. I like being with this group of people but I really don't have much in common with most of them. They are true suburban American wives and mothers, with lives so different from my own. I am one of 3 who has no children and the only one who has no partner. There is one other who is not married, but she has a boyfriend (or did the last time we were together, 3 years ago). They cannot relate to my life at all, but I lived in their worlds when I lived in Rockford. Except for the ones in Calif. and Oregon, I can't imagine what it's like to live in those places.

So off I go, hoping for the best.

FIRST, you have to understand that this story is a sad story but I can see the humor in it. You have to understand that I cried for most of the day, but that I laughed when I regaled my friends with the episode I'm about to describe. You have to understand a lot of things about the dog involved, how I felt about him and about how I came to have him in my life.

Let's start with Wednesday night at 10:00. I let my 13-year old dog Jackson out for his nightly pee. He does not return. He has done this before, maybe 3 times. Each time he has been on my doorstep the following morning. We had a thunderstorm during the night, but still he did not return. He was not on my doorstep yesterday morning so I went to work, figuring he had found safe haven during the night. I looked for his body on the hardtop on my way to work and did not find it. At 10:00, at work I got a call from State Trooper Prichitt saying that my dog Jackson had been hit by a car and was injured, couldn't walk, and that he was being left at my house. "How did you find me?," I asked. "I've been tracking you down for a while." I called the vet, told them to expect an emergency visit from me. Vet is an hour from my house, house is 45 min. from work. I rushed home. Jackson was lying on the grass, took his last gasp of air as I knelt down next to him. He was already dead. Next to him was a shirt, Moore Construction Company on the left front, Mike on the right. So it was Mike who hit him, then covered him with his shirt. Jackson died of internal injuries, his belly was swollen and his gums were white.

I later discovered he had been hit at 7:50, so it took him a while to die, the poor old man. Several people got involved in this drama, my voice mail was full of messages, neighbors wanting me to know my dog had been hit. Mostly people I vaguely know or don't know at all. He had a tag on his collar with my name & phone number. I like it a lot that so many people cared. One woman called in the afternoon to see how my dog was.

OK, now the John Candy movie begins. I'm crying, feeling guilty, feeling sorry for Jackson, feeling sad. I call my 91-year-old friend Ken because I need help disposing of a 70-pound dog body. Ken has always told me that he will help me bury a dog body, he has a place in the woods that's a burial spot for dogs. I leave a message and an hour later he calls me back. Meanwhile Jackson lies in the sun, under a blanket. I let Tess outside. She runs up to him, wagging her tail madly, imploring him to get up an play with her.

Ken comes over and the only way he considers handling the body of an animal is to dangle it by its front and hind legs, like a dead deer. I can't stand this, but what can I do? At least I take the front, so I can cradle Jackson's head in my arms. With a 1-2-3 HEAVE HO we put him in the back of the truck and drive him to Ken's, where we transfer him to the small wooden trailer behind Ken's 1955 Ford tractor for transport into the woods. I sit on a cinder block in the middle of the trailer, next to the body. I cry a lot. It's a bumpy ride but the woods are spectacular, serene and beautiful. We get to the spot Ken knows is the right one. We start walking into the woods on mossy covered ground and he says "We're looking for a monument." I know better than to ask what kind of monument or how far into the woods we should go. I finally spot a red stone, shaped just like a headstone, blank but unmistakable. "Found it!" He explains that a camper, many years ago, had her dog die while she was there, and she wanted it buried in Hawkeye so he buried it there. This completely destroys my vision of a burial plot for beloved pets but it's sure too late to turn back now. "We'll put Good Old Jackson right next to her dog, right here," he says, tapping the moss with his boot.

The spot he's picked is about 75 feet from where the tractor is parked on the dirt path/road. I know we can't carry the body that far. He reads my mind. "I'll just skid him in here." Oh God I don't think I can stand that. We lower the body to the ground, he ties a rope around Jackson's rear legs and starts dragging the body. Drag, pause, drag, pause. I cry. We reach the spot and start to dig. It's 85 degrees and the mosquitoes are hungry. We sweat and dig. He's very methodical, I'm eager to finish this project. I can't stand it. Jackson is lying on the ground nearby.

Finally we have a hole big enough--about 2 1/2 feet deep, 3 feet long and a foot wide. We put the blanket I've brought in the hole and lower the dog onto it, adjust his position so he fits. Fine, the hole is deep enough. Only one problem: rigor mortis has set in and his front legs are completely stiff. Hind legs bend just fine but his front legs are sticking straight up, out of the hole about 3 inches (I said this was like a John Candy movie). Push them down, they pop up. "Um, Ken...we have a problem." I can read his mind--if I weren't there he could break the legs and tuck them in nicely. I push, push, push the legs down, hold them down long enough to make them stay, tuck them under the edge of the hole and finally, success! He fits! We cover him with the edges of the blanket, then a garbage bag, and finally the dirt and moss we saved when we started digging.

Ken instructs me to find a perfect, flat, square stone within the next while, and to write something nice on it. "We'll come back up and put it right here," he says, putting a birch log in the exact spot. "What're you going to paint on the stone?," he asks. God only knows. Throughout this whole afternoon he's been saying things like, "Good Old Jackson, your last ride in a motor vehicle." "Good Old Jackson, your final resting place." "If there's a heaven for you I'll bet you're there now, Old Jackson." Each time he says these things I cry some more.

At last we leave, me riding in the small trailer, enjoying the ride through the woods even as I cry for the dog, for my brother, for death. We ride through a blueberry patch full of ripe berries, we turn around over a lichen-covered rock, we ride through the meadow with the wonderful view of the end of the lake and the mountain. Finally we get to his house, put away the tools, unhook the trailer and go inside. "I think we deserve a touch of the creature, don't you?," he says. But first we each have a tall glass of cold, delicious water.

When I go home there is no big yellow dog barking a sloppy bark at my arrival.

I had the most amazing swimlast night.
I was at Linda's, visiting, drinking (a little, only a little), relaxing and saying goodbye to our friend MaryKay. We decided it was a perfect night for naked swimming. It's not nearly as nice to swim at Linda's as it is at our camp because you never feel you're out very far: other camps are too close. But we swam pretty far out and I floated in totally dark water, dove into darkness so dark you could see nothing. It was cold and I never really got used to the water, unlike the swimming Jenica and I did the day before in the sunlight. The moon was a sliver but gave off good light. It was lovely and made me think of my sister, who swims several times a day when she's at Silver Lake.

I took Pus Head and her sister with the pus-y neck to the vet last night. They have hot spots, all right, and got shaved a whole lot. Diane, the vet laughed at them. They behaved very, very well while they got shaved, and Tess wagged her tail the whole time. I can't believe she did that and was sure she would struggle and be awful, based on the way she hides from me when I get out any kind of medicine. Anyway, they got shots, pills, salve and should be ok now. Their spots already look better. They also got their distemper/parvo shots and exams, as did Jackson. I discovered that Jackson has partial paralysis in his throat, which explains why his bark is so funny. It's not a problem, but I have to be careful with him in hot weather so that he doesn't over-exert himself and pant himself to death. Jackson? Over exert? It is to laugh. "Should I have him put down?," she asked optimistically. No, it's not that bad, but keep an eye on him. Total for all that was done last night: $335. Yikes. That's why I went to Linda's for drinks afterward.

Today the staff meets with the first of 2 candidates for the director position. We have a bunch of questions we've submitted to ask her but only have 45 minutes to ask them. Some of them are long and involved questions, but some dork wants to know what the last 3 books she read are. I don't think I could answer that one. Let's just ask her what her favorite color is.

WHAT WAS IT LIKE, WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
Well, I went to my ex-husband's wedding and it was fine. The wedding took forever. Boy are they married, they are sooo married. This wedding could not have been more different from our wedding. Tuxedos, white dress with pearl baubles, bridesmaids in gowns, church vows and more vows, solos belted out in all kinds of languages, a long boring sermon, full communion. It took almost an hour and a half for them to get married. Us, it took about 10 minutes outside in the sunshine with leaves on the trees. It rained the entire day he got married this time. The entire day, poured. The wedding was at night. The reception was really nice, in a pretty spot with good food and plenty of it. Free wine and beer and plenty of it. I had a nice time, saw good friends and got to be part of their group. Saw nice cousins and got to visit with them. Evaded cousins I didn't want to visit with. Was told by enough people they were glad I had gone. Jamie actually hugged me. Not bad for a man who hasn't spoken to me in a long time. He did not, however, introduce me to his wife, so I had to do that myself. She seemed stunned and said nothing. Anyway, the whole thing was fine and I stayed at the reception for a long time.

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day. Really beautiful. I had Sunday dinner with the usual crowd, then got to spend some time on the dock with Jenica. We did our usual chatting, one on the dock, one in the water. Library stuff, the wedding, our lives. Very nice. Then we went our separate ways. I went to my book group, which I thought started at 4 but really started at 3. Oh well, they were kind enough to talk about the book again when I got there. Running with scissors by Burroughs. Mixed reviews. We had a great time together, the full group was gathered for the first time in a long time. We talked about what's going on in our lives, especially Lori's life--she's getting a divorce and is living in a not-so-great situation right now. They're all going to Mirror Lake to swim laps Weds. night at 6:30. I may join them.

Friday night was the long-awaited 60th birthday party for Erdvilas. It was really nice. I had a nice time, saw lots of people I really like visiting with, ate plenty of food and didn't drink too much. They were smart and stuck to wine. What a difference that makes! Lots of people, plenty of conversation. I like being part of that extended group, they are really nice and wonderful people.

Tonight I have an appointment with my psychiatrist, who will be shocked that I went to my ex-husband's wedding. I haven't seen Dr. Rubin for 3 months. After that I rush home to pick up the dogs and rush them to the vet. The Brown Girls have the most disgusting hot spots. Chances has a huge oozing one on her neck and Tess' is now crusty and is huge on top of her head so she looks like a comic book character who was hit by radiation and is thus disfigured. My beautiful dogs! So unattractive! Not to mention that it will cost me a fortune to get them repaired! And they will have huge bald spots! Oh no!

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable. Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director City Manager - Judge - Lawyer Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Auctioneer, yeah, I like being an auctioneer. We all know I can talk fast and loud. Real estate agent? At least they make a lot of money.

Back to work and it seems like a strange place to be. I came in this morning, completely forgetting I was due in Burlington for my mammogram. I got back in my car and made it to my appointment in time, no problem. Ferry ride was a bit rough and it was hazy, no view. After the 'gram I went to a department store I like and found a good pair of shoes to wear to Jamie's wedding on Saturday. They are Clarks and will be good to wear for other things too. They are $70 shoes that were on sale for $40. Yea me!

I had a good weekend but it almost feels as if the whole thing happened to someone else. My eye appointment went well, my small cataract is no worse and my vision is only marginally worse. I ordered bifocals with the lenses that have no lines so had to pay $225 for them myself. This sucks and I am now broke. I was very late to the meeting that started at 5:15 because it took 1 1/2 hours for my appointment, then there I was, at 5:00, in Lake Placid, and I had to get to Silver Lake for the meeting. Didn't seem as if much got accomplished at the meeting anyway.

Saturday morning was the road clean up and I got paired with the loony woman who lives in her parents' camp over by the island year-round. This is her 2nd or 3rd year there. She lives with her 9 year old daughter and does batik stuff for a living. Guess what she's discovering? You can't make a living doing that. I love these people who don't have to pay $600 a month for housing, and must be getting child support or something for enough income so they don't have to work. She admitted that she may have to go back to work. She's a counselor, amazingly enough. Anyway, she brought along this man who insisted we put a dead porcupine in our garbage bags, triple-bagging it. Everyone was totally grossed out that we did it (including me). After the cleanup we had a cookout and I talked Ken into going, which turned out to be a nice thing for him, a little socialization with people he hasn't seen in a long time. One of the women from Baltimore went too, which she found very exciting. People who don't normally hang out with this group think it's an exciting group. Those of us who do know better.

Saturday night was, of course, a big drinking party at Linda's. Many people and many drinks. It was nice to be with that group again. I had a chance to talk to Joe about his cancer, his surgery, his attitude about life, plus he told me that Steve has OCD, which explains why it's taking SOOOOOO long for him to finish my deck. Steve is Joe's sister's son. Linda's friends from Mich. were there, and Chris is a devoted fisherman. Unfortunately he got his triple-barbed lure stuck in his hand so badly that Joe had to use pliers to yank it out. I was holding Chris' hand steady, and in the process got two hooks stuck in my fingers so badly that then Joe had to use pliers to yank them out of my fingers. Much blood, some pain. Too much alcohol. All is fine now, wounds are healing and don't interfere with my ability to type or weave baskets.

Sunday we had dinner at Joe and Martha's a huge group of us. I stayed after dinner to visit with Martha and Pat (Pat is Joe's sister, Ken's niece, who I seldom get to see even though she lives next door to Ken). That pretty much killed the day. Sunday night I had dinner with Rush & Annie and Annie's son, his wife and her son. We had a lot of fun playing cards after dinner. We played "I Doubt It," which I hadn't played since childhood. Annie's son is a psychiatrist and we talked about things psychiatric a lot, including Tom Cruise and Scientology at great length. Michael (the son) is really remarkable.

I stayed in the boat house Sunday night and slept well. There were really cool fireworks across the lake that I had a great view of, sitting on the porch. The lake was still and beautiful. I got up at 5 on Monday and took pictures of the sunrise, fed the dogs and went back to sleep until 7:30. Then I got up, sat on the porch and drank tea for 2 hours. It was really great. I put my chair on the dock, put my suit on and set up my sunning station. The water is warm, 72 according to Rush. I swam, the dogs swam even more. They had a great day, running along the shore, swimming, then napping at the end of the dock. They were great. I got to swim with Jamie's sister, whom I have always liked. She was there with his parents, cleaning like crazy in preparation of the rehearsal party Friday night. They're planning on a crowd of about 60. I won't be there, or if I am it will be for a short time only, Erdvilas' birthday party is that night.

I went home briefly to start Erdvilas' basket, did quite well with that, then went to Linda's for the evening. Another big crowd, another dinner. Delicious food. I took Chances, who ate 8 of the buttermilk scones Linda had made. She made 16 so had just enough for dessert, since the crowd didn't really grow until after dinner. How truly embarrassing for me, though, to have such a poorly behaved dog. She ate them off the plate, which was on the kitchen counter.

Today I have to meet Ken after work to take him to the doctor. Sometimes this doctor has a big crowd, sometimes not. It's taken anywhere from 1/2 an hour to 1 1/2 hours when we've seen him. I'll stop at Ken's before going home, but then I'm going home to vacuum the floor and do some cleaning. Having a social life is fun but my house is more of a mess than usual. My flowers look like hell, completely neglected since I don't really have a deck to put them on. I have tiny tomatoes and cukes, though.

Now I should probably get a least a little bit of work done.

You Are 38% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

Today is Friday, the day before 4th of July weekend. The lake will be covered with boats, the shoreline full of people. Our camp will be empty except for tomorrow during the day when there will be a work party of the family of my ex-husband, prettying up camp for his rehearsal dinner party, to be held next weekend. I did my part, mowed the big grass strip down the center of the road last night. I offered to do it for his parents, who seem to be freaking out about what kind of shape camp will be in. They always freak out when company comes to camp, and I knew it would help if I mowed for them so I offered and they seemed pleased so I did it. It was HOT and I SWEATED. I hate to sweat.

After I mowed I dug in my garden for an hour. That made me sweat some more and I was a little greasy from the bug dope I sprayed on myself. I hate to be GREASY. I planted 30 snapdragon plants and 20 lily bulbs. No, wait, the dogs ate one of those, I only planted 19. The garden now has 2 spots where it looks like a garden. I uncovered some of my perennials, which are getting ready to bloom. SURPRISE! I found some I'd forgotten I had. A nice treat.

While I was working so was Stevie. He now has most of one side of the deck completed. He made a little bridge so the dogs could walk onto to it but only Jackson was brave enough to use it. There's a space of about 2' between the two deck sections and you look down the 4' to the ground below. The Girls absolutely refuse to cross the bridge, not even for Milk Bones. Jackson: no problem. The Girls ran inside, danced around, put their front paws down and their butts in the air, wagged their tails, did everything but cross the little bridge. Sissies.

Tonight I have a quick meeting with the shoreowners' association to plan the summer's events. They've got me and our camp committed to an August event. Swell. I'm the secretary, have been for years. Tomorrow at 10 we gather to do the road cleanup and spend the rest of the day together. I must remember to buy myself some beer to drink at the cookout.

This afternoon, in an hour, I leave to go to the eye doctor for my annual visit. I will order new glasses, bifocals this time. Right now I have a pair of bifocals and a pair of trifocals. I need glasses to see in three zones: up close to read, mid-point for the computer, and far away to read. Sucks, yes? So now I want a pair that will see up close to read and far away to drive, so that I can read the speedometer and the road signs as I drive. I have to wear the tri-focals for that and they turned out to have just too many zones on them. Too confusing. My doctor competes in the Ironman in Lake Placid every year. 13 hours of activity: a 2-mile swim, then a 112-mile bike race, then a 26-mile marathon. My friend Howard does the same thing in Madison. I cannot comprehend that much physical activity in 13 hours. The race course comes very close to Silver Lake. My doctor rides his bike to Silver Lake often so we always talk about how nice it is where I live. That's about all we talk about, plus how nice chocolate Labs are, since he has one of those too.

Tuesday morning I go to Burlington for my mammogram. Wish I could think of something fun to do there besides that. I used to shop at Banana Republic, back when their clothes fit me and they had a good sale section. Then I moved on to the Eddie Bauer store, but they don't have a good sale section anymore either. Now I order everything online anyway.

Last night I finished a beautiful basket, a Shaker cat's head. It turned out pretty well and I'm very proud that I can still make nice baskets. I have to make 2--I for Jamie's wedding present and one to give to Erdvilas for his birthday, both by next Friday night. I ordered more supplies so I can make baskets for those I owe baskets too, as well. I had a really nice time making this one, I hadn't made one weaving in this style in many years and it was a lot of fun to do. I just hope the dogs don't chew it up while I'm at work! I put it in what I think is a safe place but you never know.