SLOW DOWN

Spring is bearing down upon us in Hawkeye. To some I suppose it's coming along slowly, but to me it seems to be arriving with breakneck speed. I've been hearing spring peepers at night from my deck (though just the early few, it's still quite cold at night, cold enough for frost). The soft maples have swollen buds and show the red tint that means they will soon have leaves. The pussy willows have gone to seed and the fuzz has turned to funny, alien-looking yellow things. I missed the fuzzy stage--we had too much snow covering the trees then. The mud has mostly dried up and the roads are all passable now. The grass (even in my neighborhood) is greening up. It'll soon be time to mow it. Early daffodils are starting to bloom. Early crocuses are going by, late ones are in bloom.

I've been walking a lot lately now that my foot is feeling better. I walked almost every day last week but by the end of the week it hurt too much. This week it's much better so I've resumed my walking. Walked the bog last night. I'd love to say that I notice something different each time I walk it but that wouldn't be true. I sound like a spoiled brat, but it gets pretty monotonous, walking it every day. I do like to walk it because it's exactly a mile and it's a boardwalk so it's even terrain. And the dogs love it, they can run full bore, plus they can go off into the woods and circle around to come out way ahead of me. Tess especially loves to crash through the woods, making me think there is something exciting like a deer there.

A bit of a lull at work these days. Am caught up with my cataloging and have big projects to start on. Do not want to do this. Director wants me to get going on cooperative collection development project with our 30 member libraries. This is like a masters thesis to me. Must come up with an outline, then a plan, then a survey, then must contact those who don't return survey, then contact them all for more information than their vague answers to survey (no matter what sort of survey you create, people never provide enough information when they fill it out). Must also get them to agree to the principle of cooperative collection development (with no money attached). Must first get them to understand the concept. First I'm trying to get automation consultant to show me how to generate reports from automated system that will show Deweys of collections of automated libraries. She either doesn't want me to know how to do this or she's too busy. May be the latter because we've got 4 libraries coming online this spring.

Other project is to start cataloging really extensive Adirondack Collection of Saranac Lake library. This will actually be good project--I'll have to do on-site work so will go there from home and spend one day a week there. Drawback is that I think the director wants me to mingle with her staff and all I really want to do is get my work done. Anyway, again I'm waiting for the automa. consultant to install software there so I can get started on the project. Director is nagging me about this too. NAG NAG NAG. What I really need to do is clean my desk. I'm down to a 8" X 8" space with nothing on it (well, there's a Post-it pad and pen there). Pardon me while I crank up the Allman Bros. and fly back to 1974, hanging out with my friends in spring sunshine.

Can't even put together book order, did that on Monday. Sigh. Will write 2007 goals, will write items I want included in contract negotiations, will catalog few items for Plattsburgh's local history collection. will then work on small area of desk. maybe. At least I'm feeling cheerful, motivated and relatively happy. Planted flower seeds, most of them have good germination rate and are cute little plants. Stupidly forgot I planted zinnias in one flat and planted morning glories in same flat so there are now 2 sets of seedlings in each six-pack. laughed at self. Am sleeping fairly well but wake at 5:30 each morning as light creeps upon the horizon. Love this time of year, as it gets light early, but find sleeping in to be a challenge.

Jenica and Molly write of Henry. He is so often in my thoughts, especially as I spend 1 1/2 hours a day alone in my car, plus I spend at least 6 hours a day listening to music with earphones on, alone in my world. It's an astonishing feeling to have someone in your life for 50 years, then suddenly have him gone. I can picture his hands, his face, his jeans, can hear his voice as if he were sitting next to me. I cry at random moments, sometimes when I hear songs from my past that we didn't even share. I took away the picture of him that was on the shelf atop my desk here because it made me too sad to look at it all day every day. It's at home now, where I feel more secure (I guess) and happier, or more distracted, or something. Embraced? I don't know. I love being in my house, maybe I can cope with my loss because I spent so much time there with him--wouldn't you think it would be the other way around?